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90 - Ninety - 90


by: Fungo
aka: Luke Bell
Spring Creek, Tennessee


I coaxed and nudged our friend Fungo to write an article or two for this website, without luck. I know many of us enjoy his wit, charm and tongue-in-cheek wisdom that comes through in his message board posts. Then I suddenly realized it! He was writing articles for the site .... All I needed to do was capture his message board posts. The following is just such an example.



So your son has hit 87 on the ole radar gun but he canít quite hit the magical 90. Itís no BIG DEAL!! Sit down and tell him there is not much difference between 87 and 90.

Boy do you have your work cut out for you. There is no way you can convince him or anyone else there is no difference. Ninety is the only word in the English language that has been etched in stone!

The bureau of standards in Fort Collins, Colorado has "90" emblazoned into the granite floor in the center of the rotunda of the visitorís center. They consider ninety to be the cornerstone of life. Ninety is part of our heritage. Ninety is the king of standards, The measuring rod of life. History will not allow us to substitute 87 for 90. Never has. Never will.

Who can you blame for this terrible travesty?

Not anyone on the HSBBW or even in baseball. It goes much deeper than that. I can tell you this, once he hits 90+ on the radar gun, your life changes, you become....... itís hard to explain.

Why is it such a part of our life?

  1. If I live to be ninety years old
  2. My heart was beating ninety miles an hour
  3. It is really hot outside must be ninety degrees
  4. Ninety miles and hour down a one-way street. (Bob Dylan / Down in the Groove album)
  5. He was going ninety to nothing
  6. Are you a 90 pound weakling? (Charles Atlas bodybuilder)
  7. That dude passed me going 90 miles an hour (Bubba explaining to Alabama highway patrol)
  8. A wreck at ninety miles an hour (Lyrics from Stonewall Jacksonís BJ the DJ song)
  9. She is so pert and petite. I would guess no more than 90 pounds!
  10. That pitcher can throw 87 mile per hour. Sorry......almost there

Fungo

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.



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