Anyone else out there sending their son to college for the first time and finding you're showering him with gifts, freedoms, extra time out, etc... before he goes because you're missing him already.
I know I am. He could ask for a lot of things right now and get them (within reason of course!). Looked at a new stereo just yesterday.
----------------------- Go Bearcats!
Posts: 3652 | Location: California | Registered: June 22, 2003
Absolutely! The "pain" is really being felt in my checking account! "Here, let me just put a little more in your account so you can..." After all, it's only a few more weeks until......... My head knows it's ridiculous. But my heart doesn't listen
Ouch, ya'll bring back the memories of doing this last year when we took our oldest 7 hours away.
As it went, we loved the school, absolutely friendly, lots of southern accents, tea served cold and sweet, lots of cute little blonds speaking with those little southern accents, son bonded immediately with fellow baseball frosh-it was all good. But when it came time to go (the schedule blandly said, following a Bar-B-Que, "Parents depart campus"), as much as I thought I could muster up something intelligent to say, or witty, or perhaps inspiring, maybe even funny, I managed only two words: "Be good". My throat felt like it had a basketball in it, and I turned and walked away and couldn't look back. Neither my wife nor I spoke a word in the car for at least 45 minutes, and our plan to drive a couple hours then turn in for the night turned into a straight through 7 hour drive as neither of us felt like sleeping anyway.
You do recover, really, but it is a tough day. Just soak in the orientation, pick up a hard copy of the College's handbook (very handy down the road), enjoy likely the last time you'll see your son's room in a somewhat neat state, and pray without ceasing.
Go Hokies! Go Rams! Go Captains!
Posts: 1774 | Location: Virginia | Registered: December 28, 2002
There is no easy way to do this. You have been so involved in his life up to this point, watching every game, hearing every doubt and fear and complaint, rejoicing in every triumph - and now you leave him somewhere to make it on his own. At least in kindergarten it was OK for you to hover at the door sometimes - now you must turn him over to other forces, and stand aside. Sitting in the stands, making small waves acknowledged with a slight shoulder shrug in your direction - how different from the days when you were the dispenser of GatorAid!! The best part? All of your love and involvement has produced a young man who can make it on his own - the next few years will produce an adult who will amaze and bless you. Please trust your son to do the right thing MOST of the time - and when he doesn't trust he will apply to life the principles that baseball has taught him. If you are anything like me, you will be delightfully amazed at what he has learned from this great game!
We're sending our oldest off to college in a little over 2 weeks. Some days I really feel like I'm prepared for it ... after all, look how mature he has been acting this summer with an almost-fulltime job, working alongside adults and making decent money, getting to work on time every day, 7:00 am! And he spends so much time with his steady girlfriend that we know we have been somewhat replaced in his affections, anyway (she's great and we approve).
But reading this thread, I realize I'm not ready. He's not home much, but when he does come in the door, he actually looks for me, says "Hi, Mom, I'm home", and sits and visits for a few minutes; wonders what time Dad is coming home. I know I'm going to miss hearing "Hi, Mom, I'm home" every day ... but at the same time I'm excited for him to keep growing and maturing, and I know he's headed off to a great school to do that (and play baseball).
Parenting is an amazing job ... we work so hard, it brings a lot of joy and a few frustrations, and if we're good at what we do, we eventually are fired. This great big man-child has grown into more man than child, and is ready to find his own path. He has also become one of the favorite people for his parents to spend time around, but now we have to step aside and let him spend most of his time with other people and places. It's okay, though, because we know we've built a solid foundation for him to stand on. But doggone, we're going to miss him!
Posts: 3637 | Location: Minnesota | Registered: January 04, 2003
Thanks for sharing....I have another year before my son leaves for college, but you all are making it clear that I need to take this year slow and enjoy it as much as possible.
"A house stays in one place. A home is where the heart leads........"
Posts: 1571 | Location: NorthCarolina | Registered: June 16, 2004
I don't think that I have any standing to comment on this because mine is traveling about 5 minutes down the road (on a bad traffic day)--although I have been told I am not allowed on campus so perhaps he will be just as far away in a sense as the others. (have to choose another running route as mine goes through campus!)
But as a parent, I have to say that I have enjoyed each and every day I have been lucky enough to have had with my son. I can't think of one that I regret (even the times when I got hopping mad). But I am ready to watch him spread his wings and fly. (mother bird analogy, whereas I have been more like a mother lioness to him) I love getting the (very occasional) phone calls home when he is gone, as he is now. I love hearing about his adventures and I love discussing the occasional puzzle over an issue. I love knowing that he is happy with his almost-adult life and I frankly like his independence.
(If I'm posting about how much I miss him a couple of months from now, you can pull this thing up and make me eat my words)
Posts: 692 | Location: California | Registered: January 02, 2003
JBB, Thank you, thank you, thank you, I thought we were the only ones! Orioles Fan, Great post! Dropped by to see the HS coach this afternoon. It was very emotional. His words to me: "If you ever doubted that you at times messed up in raising your son, know that you have done your job well, which was preparing him for this moment". We leave for school in 48 hours. Best of luck to everyone!
Posts: 10783 | Location: South Florida | Registered: July 28, 2003
Ladies and gentlemen, moms and dads ... whoever the heck is posting on this thread ... you are making ME cry and mine is done with college, living his dream in the northwest, and returning to the fold while yours are all taking off.
And now, since I have "been there, done that, and have the t-shirt", I can tell you all that this future you are anticipating will bring changes and maturation of your "baby boys" that you couldn't even fathom a year ago. And one day, the college days will also be behind them and they will be going forward ... again ... onto another adventure, living some kind of dream, all grown up "men" who have the world ahead of them.
Cherish them, hug them, and if you think of it ... please give them a kiss on the cheek from me as well.
Mary Ann * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * "The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Deuteronomy 31:8 [8/21/08]
Posts: 3937 | Location: Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight ... | Registered: January 02, 2003
It is a traumatic time in OUR lives when our young sons walk out the door to face the cruel world. It’s the grand finale of events that have been happening for many years. Let him go. . . . Bade him a tearful farewell. Smile as he departs the nest. Don’t be upset. Now, if he has any thoughts about staying at home . . . . . That’s when you should get upset! Fungo
Posts: 4813 | Location: Spring Creek (Jackson),Tennessee | Registered: December 26, 2002
Bordeaux- a lady at my son's college said she cried like all get out, and she was taking her daughter 2 blocks to campus, and the mpom worked at the campus! It's a change whether they're 7 minutes or 7 hours away. Good luck.
Go Hokies! Go Rams! Go Captains!
Posts: 1774 | Location: Virginia | Registered: December 28, 2002
It is a sad day........but it is your own fault for spending the time, energy, and love making him the young man he is today. Give yourself a pat on the back and watch him take the next step. If you did not have these feelings your son would not be where he is today.
Posts: 3876 | Location: Madison Wi | Registered: January 06, 2003
Know the feelings you are all expressing. It is quite a contrast when you drop them off at school and get very emotional while they are so happy and anxious to start this new journey. One suggestion is to have plans to be busy when you return home and make sure those plans include scheduling your next trip to watch them during Fall baseball. Still remember watching the first game of my son's Fall series. Was a player I had never seen before. He had improved soooooo much! Also make plans and dedicate yourself to seeing every game you can for the next 4 years no matter the distance or hardship. It goes in the blink of an eye but the times are those to treasure.
'You don't have to be a great player to play in the major leagues, you've got to be a good one every day.'
Posts: 2053 | Location: ca | Registered: February 11, 2003
but his room is just down the hall....
