Why is it that they have the most problems with coaches? I know the things you guys listed.....no quality coaches at the lower levels, poor program, losing program, etc. Well, what about schools that have quality coaches at the lower levels and winning programs? I still hear the most,well all, complaints from sub-varsity player's parents.

My experience is the dynamics of the HS game are different and it takes time to adjust. Players who don't play for 3, 4, 5 games, kids handling the coaching relationship, the politics all to often involved....it's a different animal than most parents have seen. Took some time for me to adjust to it too!

It is probably because of the politics involved. A kid who plays varsity that couldn't make JV. The coach changing a delivery, a swing, a throw without ever seeing a kid in a game. No bullpens between games, no pitching practice whatsoever. No cutoffs, no relays. The coach removing a kid from a game because he is pitching tomorrow and then not pitching him. Or could it be that the competition just isn't there at the freshman level. Or maybe a kid striking out 2+ batters per inning and still having to prove he's up to the competition. How about the kids that play every inning because they play football.
This is what we've run into so far and what do I tell my son. Be respectful, keep working hard, they will notice and your time will come. Bottom line is though I will keep it all inside and never ever say anything to a coach. They are doing their best and if that's true it is all we can ask for.

A lot of these players' parents aren't out of Little League yet --- everybody gets their innings, 'stars' play more than one position (pitchers definitely do), life is fair, blah, blah, blah. This 'talk to the coach on the kid's behalf' tack worked there, so it should work in hs.

I'd recommend addressing this unfortunate tendancy in the pre-season parents meeting. Be blunt; this ain't LL. Delineate all you do for the team, and list the jobs parents can do if they want to 'help the team', noting all the ways complaining hinders the team, and the players on it.

Yeah....ours wanted to collect for a coaches gift. Say what?

Or am I just being a crusty old man?

Loss of controll is a ***** aint it?

Coach May, Summed it up right there.

Parent's have no control, And it's killing them.

Parent's be as positive as you possibly can be.
Baseballs a marithon.
Not a sprint.
EH

the first rule of coaching. when parents want to talk to the coach make sure the player is there as well.they tend to not be as critical, and if they do say something out of line now the player knows what you go through. and they have the most influence over mom and dad.

I think its a tough transition for a lot of parents that were involved in youth sports. Parents have been going to practices and talking to their youth coaches for years. When the kids get to high school, all of a sudden your not involved. Our coaches set out the ground rules at the beginning of the season. No minimum playing time, no questions from parents about playing time, and no talking to coaches immediately after the game. Our team is lucky to have good coaches, a nice group of parents, and a great group of kids. We have been lucky to have that combination for the last three seasons, and it sure makes baseball more fun.

Sounds to me that this could be a case of expectations and clarity. If a coach has a meeting with the parents and clearly states his goals, expectations, rules, approach, etc. then there shouldn't be an issue. If a coach believes he shouldn't have to do this, then expect to hear it from the parents.

quote:

Originally posted by bcb3:
I think its a tough transition for a lot of parents that were involved in youth sports. Parents have been going to practices and talking to their youth coaches for years. When the kids get to high school, all of a sudden your not involved. Our coaches set out the ground rules at the beginning of the season. No minimum playing time, no questions from parents about playing time, and no talking to coaches immediately after the game. Our team is lucky to have good coaches, a nice group of parents, and a great group of kids. We have been lucky to have that combination for the last three seasons, and it sure makes baseball more fun.

Exactly! Things change. Once you get used to the change, it's not a big deal.

We have a meeting with the players after the cuts are made every year and the teams have been selected. They are told up front that if they have an issue with playing time or any other issues to come to the coaches and speak their mind. If they are not satisfied with what they hear they can have their parent or parents request a meeting and the player parents and coaches will sit down with them and discuss any issues they have. Players are told what their role on the team is and how they can expand that role. If the player can not except their role on the team then they need to make some decisions. If the parents can not except their sons role on the team then they as well have to make some decisions. A coach has to worry about all his players and his team as well. Some parents are only concerned with one player. When a kid gets to HS it is time to understand that his performance will dictate his role and nothing else. Alot of times some parents have a hard time dealing with the fact they have no more controll on how much and where there son plays. The best thing to do is let your son grow up and earn his playing time. And let him learn to stand up for himself and make good decisions. JMHO

Are those pre season speeches that coaches give before every season in some type of hand book because they all sound the same? Only thing is that most of the coaches do not follow there own rules.

Do players really get to earn their spots? No

Are certain players given a large window as far as talent and attitude? Yes

Does the coach treat all parents the same? No

I finally figured it out, after watching a show on ESPN yesterday. It was called “before the bigs” it was the story about Brett Tomko. After watching this show I realized that H.S. coaches are just H.S coaches and they can not evaluate a player’s talent any better then any JOE BLOW off the street. If a player wants it bad enough and really has the talent then someone in the higher level where it really counts will see it.

I know Tomko’s H.S coach and boy is that guy has an ego. This coach gives the same speech that Coach May said that he had and also tells the kids if you do not make the Frosh team do not bother coming out next year and maybe join the drama club instead. IF Brett Tomko listened to this coach he would not be pitching for the Dodgers right now.

Speaking as a dad of a player that gets to play in games it has nothing to do about having control it’s about coaches who think that they are Gods and that kind of attitude runs down the chain of command starting with Varsity coach then the JV coaches and to the bottom of the chain the freshmen coaches.

Maybe that is why you hear it from the lower levels of H.S baseball programs because the parents have not figured that out yet.

dad


What level does your son play at?

quote:

Do players really get to earn their spots? No

Are certain players given a large window as far as talent and attitude? Yes

Does the coach treat all parents the same? No

In far too many cases, true, true and true!!

He is a Freshmen who just got pulled up to Varsity for a tournament. they needed hitters so he is D.H.

my oldest son played for the school that Tomko played for which is a different H.S that my 14 year old is at. but same politics.

951dad, the problem with most Coaches, yes most Coaches, on all levels is, they don't know how to teach hitting, catching and throwing.....

So, they learn the rulebook and argue with umpires.....They think that makes 'em look like they know what they're doing......

Now, as a parent, if you expose 'em, your kid sits!!

So, parents for the most part, kiss-up to the Coach and only talk about him when he can't hear 'em!!

Now, there are a few exceptions, but the odds of you getting that exception are miniscule!!

quote:

Originally posted by 951dad:

Do players really get to earn their spots? No

Are certain players given a large window as far as talent and attitude? Yes

Does the coach treat all parents the same? No

I finally figured it out, after watching a show on ESPN yesterday. It was called “before the bigs” it was the story about Brett Tomko.

I know Tomko’s H.S coach and boy is that guy has an ego.

Speaking as a dad of a player that gets to play in games it has nothing to do about having control it’s about coaches who think that they are Gods and ...

I'd say hang em all! **** coaches! 951dad you and I are the only ones that really know how to do their jobs and if no one believe us, just ask us!

BTW, never been referred to as a "God" before. I'm thinking that the real deal might not like it. Plan on ducking some of those thunder bolts the next time I'm outside. LOL!

Also, BTW, I loved the Tomko scenerio. So typical of all of us.

From outside the fence, my experience is that the frosh and JV coaches just dont get the field time with players - the Varsity is either playing or practicing - it gets worse during region play - overstated for sure but true. I have never seen a HS coach at any level who wasnt a baseball guy.

Plus, all of us parents are experts