I agree with Tr so much on this. People, understand this. When a season starts you set rules and standards. Some leagues set them for you and some school districts can tie a coaches hands. But when you set those rules, you'd better be prepared to stand by them or you will never have the full respect of all of your players.
Tr has been doing this for long enough, that when a young man comes to his program, he already understands what he's coming into. The reputation of the program proceeds itself. A player with an attitude will probably not be invited into that program and if one that does play for it, feels he must challenge the authority of the program, he should be shown the rules and the Door. JMO

coaches kids do what you let them (adults too) If you let kids talk back then whatever happens is on you not the kid.

It is analagous to the folloeing situation: a kid makes a bonehead baserunning error and he comes back in the dugout and the coach says dont worry about it(because you do not want to be negative or hurt his self esteem and all that stuff) the next game he does the same thing. Well that is on the coach because he told the player not to worry about it. A kid talks back and you let it go dont be surprised if he does it again just as dont be surprised if the kid makes the same bonehead baserunning mistake.

The team works together or you make the decision early to play slow pitch softball when you get older. lol No tolerance for trash talk or backtalk. Sounds harsh but as a former educator treat them with respect and most will do the same to you and the team. If not, all you can do is win games without them. One player can take the entire team with them and you will have a more difficult time with the rest.

Everybody pretty much has the same opinion that I do...the kid is gone and if he gets his act together he is welcome back to try out next year.

Asst coach stirring the pot is still around also but on a real short leash. His life expectancy is still better than the player's. But he is gone if it happens again, period. I don't need an abusive coach creating problems on his own.

You can catch a lot more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.
One of my sons was misbehaving years ago. In the midst of his punishment he called me a b*st*rd. I almost lost it. Then I had a thought - I asked him what that was. He had no idea - so I explained it to him and why it was wrong. He was 12 at the time. He never called me that again.
Now he is in the Marine Corps fighting our countries battles.
I certainly don't coach, but I as a parent would have more respect for a coach that allows for the small talk back once in a while or the big blow-up under certain circumstances. Set punishment of running/exercise or sitting out a game - fine; also what is the coach's attitude in all of this. Now if the kid fell off the deep end and cussed out the coach and could not give an adequate excuse of a major incident(like my dad left us yesterday, etc.) then yes he would be asked to leave. It would be good if you tell him that he can come by anytime (in private) if he needs to talk (not mouthing off to the coach again of course). A nearby HS coach ran a looser ship in many ways than ours did (except for grades - if you didn't meet his standards you didn't play), always had better teams too.

Tim Robertson

I agree with pretty everybody on here. In regards to how to handle kids today and talking back, I think it's very dangerous when adults change with the times, whether it's inadvertantly or not.
I graduated HS in 1997 and to see some of the changes in how kids act towards people in authority today really disturbs me. It simply didn't happen when I was growing up like it does now.
I have to wonder if some of it's because adults and coaches simply go along with the idea that "well, kids are just different than they used to be." Hogwash.
They act that way now because somewhere along the line they've been allowed to push the envelope and it's getting worse.
I also believe the legal ramifications nowadays play a factor. People are just plain afraid of getting sued or publically embarrassed.

I am officially stepping down from the soapbox.
www.baseball-pitching-tips.com

If you run the team, then the "envelope" stops with you----no ifs ands or buts

I have read through the posts and this has been a very good thread.

I currently coach my son's 9 year old team and have coached HS for 6 years, plus College for 2 years. I am the head coach of my son's team and find it is the parents I have to deal with more than the kids. It has been an eye opener.

Back to the origninal topic and kid's back talk.

First, it needs to be established from day one that it will not be acceptable to talk that way to anybody on this team. You also need to spell out what will happen in wrriting so the parents and players can see it and it protects you, because like previously said it is a sue happy world!

You can't make exceptions. Whatever you decide whether you throw them off the team, suspend them, toss them from paractice whatever you need to make it clear.

The key is to be consistent. You can't throw one kid off the team for it, because you don't like him or he isn't very good, then with a different kid decdide well you normally are fine but you made one mistake so you stay.

Me personally I would probably tell the player to go home and to come see me in my office tomorrow at 9am and we will discuss your situation.

But I completely respect the coach that tosses them from the team as long as they know this upfront. Consistency!!! You must stand strong on your beliefs.

CoachW

Players in our program understand the concept of respect...and if they don't, they learn quickly. Any coach with an ounce of self-respect won't allow ANY player, regardless of his talent, to mouth off or talk in a manner in which he doesn't seem to understand his place.
You aren't doing a kid a favor by "letting it go" or simply chalking it up to "emotions of a game". I think a player should leave your program as a better MAN, not just a better PLAYER...and learning to know your place is a big part of that.
I had to bench the best player I've ever coached this season (I've been a head coach 11 years) twice because he mouthed off to our head assistant....and it not only led to him making better decisions in the 2nd 1/2 but also set the tone for our program in the future, as all our JV players saw it and now better understand that talent & production has nothing to do with having class & respect.

i coached frosh ball last year...if you talk back you run poles for 20 minutes as simple as that.

Back in the day you did not talk back period.No matter what. would not even think about it. Sorry to bring up back in the day. I admit I am old fashioned and old school but we all did not wake up one morning and this stuff happened to be part of the landscape. It is just a reflection of what is going on in other situations involving kids.

Will

Amen to that!!!!!

Forget the kids who talk back. Them I could always get control of.

It's the mouthy parents you need to get rid of.