Do you have players who often talk back to you? What do you do about this? Do you set a standard saying you will not put up with it, and if it happens you handle it accordingly?

Player gives coaches lip

Player is GONE


It is termed disrespect

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
Player gives coaches lip

Player is GONE


It is termed disrespect

Handled accordingly. Anything else would be doing the young man a disservice.

I don't know about what TRhit says, but the way I handle it is if the player gives me lip, he sits the next game. If it continues we have a meeting in my office, maybe something is going on outside the baseball field. If it continues, my final step would be having a meeting WITH the parents and see what's the problem. It would be according to how the parents act at that particular meeting if we need to part ways. I give the kid as many chances as I can before it spreads amongst the team.

Rock-N Fire

I am probably a bit older than you and at this point in time I do not have time for kids with no respect---what I do have time for is going to a college game to see a young man who played for us 5 years ago and in turn run into his parents at the game and his mom gives me a great big kiss and hug and we have a great conversation before and after the game---to me that it what is all about-- the respect on both parts is what makes it all worthwhile--the young man and I have been in touch thru his college career and his coach keeps me appraised as to how the boy is doing both as a player and a young man

When a player talks back to a coach every other player on that team is watching and waiting to see what the coach is going to do and how he is going to handle it. If the punishment is not instant , clear and severe you have lost the respect of your team and the ability to lead it. Bottom line he is gone. Right then no questions asked. Everyone sees how it is handled and what happens when you talk back to a coach. There is no tolerance for this behavior. Anyone else want to join him? I didnt think so. Lets move on shall we.

He was having a bad day. He has some issues going on. You got 15 20 guys on your team. So what happens if at least one of those guys has a bad day each day? Or at least one of those guys has some issues each day? The only meeting I would have with the parents is if they asked me to tell them what happened I would be glad to tell them he was kicked off the team for talking back to the coach or coaches. How they handled it has nothing to do with the actions of the player.

I commend you on your accomplishments TRhit. I really do. An as you state, you may do things differently than I do. I respect that. I just believe in giving a kid a chance and not just throw him off of a team for a little lip. I was one of those kids once and if it wasn't for the coach, I would have probably started breaking the law and ended up in prison if my coach gave up on me like that and I couldn't play sports. I'm 34 and I still talk with that same coach today.

Those type of kids stop being those type of kids when they realize those type of kids will not be allowed to be those type of kids.

Or they get kicked off the team and realize that those type of kids are not allowed to be those type of kids so they they stop being those type of kids so they can be on the team.

By biggest concern in a situation like this would be to make sure I got this kid to safety before my upper class guys got to him. You dont mess with my boys coach. They learned that from their coach. No one is going to disrespect my players without dealing with me first.

quote:

I am probably a bit older than you and at this point in time I do not have time for kids with no respect

TR-- I had the greatest situation last year when I coached a summer team. For one, I was an assistant anyways. Our head coach for that specific team was very much in the same boat I was though. The only paperwork we dealt with was the line ups and the scorebook. Our varsity coach took care of EVERYTHING else. And if we had any issues with parents, players, etc-- we didn't deal with it. The varsity coach dealt with it. And he's very blunt..

you dont have players who talk back. Period.

Wouldn't/shouldn't the players past record stand for something in a situation like this?

If the kid has played for you for 2-3 years already and has been an exceptional player on and off the field,would 1 incident really be enough to kick a kid off a team.We all have bad days and sometimes,there is something going on behind the scenes and maybe,just maybe,the coach pushes a button that caused him to lash out.



I am not saying a punishment is not in order but these should be case dependant imo.

tfox

If a kid had played for me for 2 or 3 years there would be no incident like this---

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
tfox

If a kid had played for me for 2 or 3 years there would be no incident like this---

You seem to have no idea what can happen in a young man's life that could inspire an incident like this to happen.

Dad just walked out on him and his mother,mother just was diagnosed with a terminal illness,heck even his girlfriend of 3 years breaking up can do things to young men at this age to make them do things that are not in their caracter so I wouldn't say it wouldn't happen.

For TRhit to say that it would never happen if the player had played for him for 2 or 3 years is just not reality. That's more like being a dictator rather then teaching kids the game and how to become men. GOD for bid that a kid make a mistake under TRhit's reign.

I think in the umpire thread, they'd probably say, "YHTBT" or "You had to be there..."

A varsity coach, who has laid down a set of rules that clearly state the cause in effect, should enforce his rules. If he tells them at the first team meeting, 'you talk back to me and you'll be gone from the program' and a kid talks back to him, he should follow through. He's coaching 17 & 18 year olds who should know better.

The freshman coach, who maybe hasn't had enough experience to know he needs a set of rules, should establish them based on an issue like this, then he should enforce them. He's coaching 14 & 15 year olds, who might not know better. They've probably come from their club or LL team where they could pretty much act how their parents taught them. Part of what freshman ball is for is to learn how to do it in HS.

If this is a club situation, the coach has to decide how much he wants to put up with, whether he'll accept having others start doing it, how quickly he can replace the player, etc.

We had a kid we hung with. Really a good kid, just got wound up during games (12U-13U). Not so much the mouth, but the throwing of helmets and getting down on himself, then pressing, doing worse and getting worse. He'd calm down quickly after running a few laps and appologize to us. We'd sit him down for a game. We always figured he'd outgrow it and he was a great kid\teammate the other 98% of the time. I heard a few weeks ago he'd been suspended a game from his HS freshman team. Apparently he hasn't figured it out, just learned some descriptive adjectives to go along with his tirades.

Rock-n-Fire

Open your eyes and your mind---kids who play for us know the rules and how we run things--if they have been with us they know the rules--I am been known to prowl the halls of the hotel at tournament at 2 AM in the morning-- in our organization it is reality-- in this day and age kids need rules to abide by and be given a direction--I think that they want and crave it--- entering our program they know the rules--if the don't like it do not sign on because their is only one bus driver on the trip

Rock---if your own kid talks back to you what would happen? Will let him get away with it?--If my teenage sons ever talked back to me the result would be simple--The XBOX goes---the car goes---the curfew changes---I learned as a kid that you don't mess with the authority figure--the coach is the authority figure just as the Dad is


Allow me to give you an example: two years ago we were in a tournament out of town--I am sitting with a couple of coaches and parents in the lobby and 6 of my kids are sitting watching the football game , it was the fall season. I gets to 10:15 PM I say to the kids--"I think it is time guys. I do not you dragging a s s in the morning" as a group they stood up said good note and went to their rooms:. The group I was chatting with looked me and asked how I make that happen with them---I told them that it is simple " We have understanding and respect along with our rules. And they respond that way all the time". All I got was stunned silence.


By the way , if I recall we played their team the next morning and we won

I am not a dictator at all---I am just in charge and we have respect between players and coaches---it is very simple and it works---anyone steps over the line they are asked to go home--last season I asked a kid to leave--I get home from the tournament and my wife says his dad called--expecting a load of hear we talked and after I explained my position he responded "Perhaps this is the kick in the a-s s- he needs. Thank you"


Rock

You are entitled to live in your world as you see it and I have no problem with that---BUT don't ever tell me that what I do is "just not reality" just because you don't do what I do---AND all my coaches buy into the philosophy---perhaps that is why our program works

I have not run into many HS coaches who don't care about the kids. It's a pretty thankless job if you are not doing it in part because you care about the kids and want to help them be successful in life. If talking back happens all the time, is part of the kid's character and normal behavior, I think the players and parents respect that being handled swiftly and firmly. In my opinion, that player doesn't deserve much "benefit of the doubt". But for a player where it's clearly out of character for him, I don't think any coach worth his salt would cut him off without checking to see if something's wrong.

Hey, you do it your way, I do it my way. You have success on how you do it, I also have been successful in the way I do it.

Y'see, when I coach my high school team during the spring, the zero-tolerance policies hurts the kid more then the coaches ego getting damaged. Now when it comes to spring ball/high school ball, I don't care who you are, sooner or later you're gonna catch a kid on a bad day. Just because he has that bad day for whatever reason, kicking him of the team with no questions asked is the wrong way of doing it.

Now if we're talking about travel ball, a kid giving me lip is the least of my worries cause I know it won't happen. I already know the kid, I already know the parents. The kids I invite to play with me, I already know them like they were like my kids. That's why I invite them.

I thought we were talking about high school ball not travel ball.

Trust me , if I were coaching a HS team it would be no different

I agree with TRhit.