We play in a fall league, 18 and under. Most of my kids are juniors. My cleanup hitter, who primarily plays first base, is my #3, or emergency catcher. He didn't have to catch one inning in the summer. One of my catchers misses half the games in the fall due to hockey. Since its the fall, I allow that (not an issue to any other players, etc.).

Anyway, the cleanup hitter doesn't like to catch. He shared the catching duties during freshman year and is ok at it, he just doesn't like it. perfect #3 catcher. I told him at the beginning of the season that I would only have him catch in emergencies. he didn't like it, but accepted it.

So on Sunday, with #2 catcher at hockey, my #1 catcher goes down with an ankle twist in the 6th inning. Tie game against the team in first place (we're in second, one game back). As we get ready to go out to the field, I tell cleanup hitter to get his stuff on and he has to catch. He goes off saying "No way - I'm not catching". I say "you gotta. two innings. gotta do it for the team". He says "no F'ing way - I'm on this team to play first base, not catch". We start yelling LOUDLY at each other. I tell him its a team game and he's gotta do what's best for the team. "I'm not catching". So I tell him that he might as well leave the dugout. He says fine, and as he's getting his stuff, and starts to walk, I say "If you leave now and let your teammates down like this, don't bother coming back". he just keeps walking..

Last night, his dad called, apologizing for the kid. Said he's having a bad month on all fronts. The kid has been a hothead all his life. The dad asks if the kid wants to come back, would I let him?

what do you think?

No way does this kid come back---not on my team anyway--if he does he sits


You , as the coach, cannot let a kid talk to you that way

I think you'll find another #3 catcher now. Might have been easier to do that at the start of the season.

The kid was out of line. Period. Those kind of actions/words have to bring consequences.

If he is allowed to come back, it will be after apologizing (in front of the team) to the team and the coach. And, as TR suggests, sitting some as a penalty.

First reaction may be to boot off permanently. But perhaps allowing him to return under appropriate conditions might help him learn a lesson.

And I would tell the dad that the kid needs to be the one doing the talking, although the dad can be present during the conversation.

Could this situation been avoided? Possibly.

I am a little more lenient than most but I would need a public apology in front of the team and parents to let the kid back on the team. If he does it again adios. Kids make mistakes. Twice is a habit.
If he has a history of this kind of thing, adios.

Maybe the kid learns a life lesson and becomes a better person and player for somebody else.

No way he comes back.

In State championship game U12 kid has a melt down and starts yelling at the coach after popping out and not hustling to first base.

Coach tells him to leave. We were up 8-3 in the fifth inning and had to finish with 8 since subs had already gone in and come out.

We go on to lose and it was still the right thing to do. This kid had issues all season and ultimately the team completely disbanded.

Support the good kids. Do not let one kid bring the entire team down.

I know this is for highschool kids but I thought this real life story might offer some insight.

Bill

If he has been a dedicated baseball player, I guess I would also be more lenient. I would first ask the dad what the problems were. Then I would have the boy call me and explain his situation and why he acted like that. Finally, if I felt he had unusual pressures, I would let him come back only if he gets in front of and apologizes to the team and the coaching staff with at least a short explaination of why he blewup and why he feels he is better prepared to handle any new situation that may come up.

I would also think about getting a #2 catcher that was not going to miss half the games. I have in the past seen some very good kids and dedicated baseball players that became resentful of players that are only part of the team on a part time basis because they want to commit to doing something else. To me, these types of situations can put pressure on the team.

Just curious, goMo. Do you think it will be good or bad for the team if this kid comes back? How do they feel about this? Do you think they would accept his apology, be glad to have him back, and move on, or do you think allowing him to come back will cause resentment and maybe disrespect for you as coach?

imo, thank the dad for the phone call breaking the ice -

then only you and the player should meet and see if the situation can be resolved.
if issues can be worked out .. Great!
if not, at least it was face to face & not thru a third party (dad)

Thanks for all the replies! Great advice as usual!

Here's what I told the dad last night. I said that if he had asked me Sunday night, I would've said no way he comes back. But after sleeping on it for a night and talking to my coaches, I decided that, as some of you said, if he *sincerely* is sorry for what happened and wants to come back, he could under the following 4 conditions: 1) he apologizes to me face-to-face, 2) he apologizes to the team face-to-face, 3) he accepts his role as emergency catcher, and 4) he gets benched for at least a game.

As much as I may not personally like the kid as much as some others on the team (selfish, arrogant, etc.), he is a kid and deserves a 2nd chance, and only a 2nd chance. I think its an important message that I send to both him and the other kids.

btw, after he walked out, the other kids really seemed to rally around this. They were saying "let him go, he's not a team-player" kind of stuff. They even huddled before going out in the field (without me leading it) and I was very proud to see them react in a positive way.

I don't think he's going to come back. Actually, even though he's one of my best hitters, I don't want him back, but I think as a coach and adult, I need to do the right thing..

I'll keep you posted. Our next game is Saturday.

goMO,

Just out of curiosity, what did you do for a catcher in that game? If it were someone else, that kid would have to get his second chance with a different team. You probably did the right thing, but who knows about that stuff until it's too late. Best of luck.

the kid is a hs jr. the first and only phone call should be from him. it's his battle.

then i would ask the team how they feel? it's their team too. it may just fire them up and lend some credability to stick by what you said. it is very difficult to control what you say in those situations. not an easy fix either way. but i'd say no.maybe next year.

"If you leave now and let your teammates down like this, don't bother coming back". .

a good rule to go by. say what you mean,mean what you say.

A factor to consider is the kid's history.

If he was really a pretty good kid going through a tough time, then he should have no prior offenses, so to speak. If so, then I think he should be given the opportunity to apologize to you and the team, and then to put it behind you and play ball. If he really is a boy with character, he can fess up in public before he expects forgiveness.

From some of the things you've said, though, it sounds like this is not a first offense. So I'd be reluctant to let him come back. I think it undermines your position in front of your team.

In either event, a dad cannot apologize for a son. An apology is only meaningful when it comes from the offending party. Until the boy comes to you, you have nothing in front of you to consider.

Final note: I don't endorse your letting yourself get drawn into a shouting match with a teenager in front of other teenagers. I have to assume you were provoked by his use of profanity. The best example would've been to show firm resolve with a calm demeanor. But I'll grant you, easier said than done in the heat of the moment.

Prior history need tob e considered here. If it's his first time then the other guys would probably be willing to let him back on.

If the other guys don't want him then why let him? It's going to make the other guys mad and you may lose their respect.

Just because he is having a few problems this month doesn't excuse what he did. We all have problems we have to deal with in a positive and mature manner. If he was having problems then he (or even his dad) should have said something. Then you could have been aware of moods and maybe even helped him with his problems. He chose to keep quiet - that doesn't excuse the behavior.

It's not your job to teach him a lesson through a second chance. It's his fathers job. His dad should say "listen junior you messed up. You don't talk to anyone that way regardless of their age, position or your mood. It's not acceptable and their are repercussions for those actions". Why should you have to teach him? Your job is to coach him. If you can happen to teach a life lesson through coaching then that's great but what his father does in this situation will do much more in his future attitude than what you do.

This is getting interesting.. I received a text from one kid and an email from another saying they want to have a meeting with the team before our next game.
just so you guys can see, here's the email from my second baseman (smallest but toughest kid on the team - a real leader).

Mr. B,
Mike S.and I have been talking a lot about the team and we decided its time we take more responsibility of it. Personally, we would like to sit the team down before Saturday's game and let everyone know we're here to play. We are not here to complain or fight. We agreed that our team is easily good enough to make the championship and win it. However, everyone need to be willing to cut the **** out, and play hard. I personally talked to Joe and he apologized to me and I know for a fact, that he will also apologize to you and the team. However, if you decide to let him back on the team, we would like to take a team vote. I personally am going to start working with Mike on pitching because I'm sure we need all the help we can get in the bullpen. Let me know how this goes over with you. -Tommy

Jerry - forgot to address your question. My starting catcher went back in the game for the bottom of the 6th. he was hurting, but he did it. didn't complain even though he was in obvious pain.

If you let him back on the team - instead of making him sit out several games make him catch like 5 games as punishment.

I would not let him come back. He has to learn that in life, you pay for your mistakes. He wants to only play first base, he needs to find a team where that can happen. IMO, baseball is more of a team sport than any other and one bad apple can do a lot of damage. As someone alluded to earlier, the #2 Catcher would have to go as well next season if I was planning on keeping the team together. I would want everyone on the same page and focused on the same goals.

Boot him. Maybe just maybe with some luck and punishment he shall learn, i hate kids like that.

quote:

by 2705: instead of making him sit out several games make him catch like 5 games as punishment.

sheesh,
most seem unwilling to work thru a minor situation w/a teen full of testosterone (*presumably natural), and help him learn a life lesson ...


some would suggest this kid has shown he "has what it takes" to make it -
ala Strawberry, Bonds, Belle, Bradley, Kent, Pierzynski, Everett, et-all ..

not only do they get a free pass - they are handsomely rewarded for their behavior

oops, I left out Piersol

GoMO,
Why did the dad call you to apologize?
Why didnt it come from the player?

Who really still wants to be on your team,...the dad or the kid??

Just a few questions for thought.