I had a player on my senior team who was ejected in the 6th inning for throwing his helmet and swearing at the umpire. (The ump didn't make him leave the dugout but thats a seperate problem) An inning later when the game was over, this player got on my case infront of the team for not running out to argue with the umpire when he was ejected. He ended up getting out of hand by swearing at me among other things.
I told our GM that I want him suspended for 3 games. He understands but up to 5 other players will not play if this happens and I told him thats not my problem as thats their decision. We won't have enough players to play if this is the result. Plus if they let him back without my permission I told them I would "walk"

What would you do? stick to your guns as they say or accept the players apology and not suspend him ?

This is supposed to be the start of my coaching career and I would be kinda screwed if I resign but this player has already had attitude problems and I would lose any respect I have from the rest of the team if I pretty much let him off with just an apology.

You've done nothing wrong and in fact, have also been victimized by this young man. I don't know your situation but per myself, if I say it, it has to happen. Of course, I've always know this rule and been very careful about what I've said. IMO, the choice is now their choice to make. If you don't hold to your standard, you're not in charge anyway. Every player is also waiting to see who runs the team. As one of my friends constantly says, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything." JMHO!

Stick to your guns !!!

There is no way a player cusses a coach and gets away with it---you give in once it will follow you forever

A few years back we had a kid we benched midway thru a tournament---in the middle game I turned to him and asked to get a bat because we wanted him to pinch hit---in front of the entire team he says to me "No, I don't want to"---well he never left the bench the rest of the tournament and he could have gone home for all I cared---- and the kid who hit instead of him got a key hit in the crucial situation which helped us win the game


Sometimes it ain't easy but you have to stand your ground--prisoners do run the prison, at least not my prison


Good Luck !!!

Never back down, it will be the longest season you ever had if you do.

I agree with the other posters. It sounds as though you are a young coach trying to get a start. I appreciate that, but what the kids are trying to do is test you, since you are young. Not sure what level this is, sounds like it is teen age competitive or higher, but this will be a good lesson learned...for you and for the team. Are you in position to release players and pick other ones up? If so, anyone not abiding by your rules should be let go. If there are parents involved, I can't imagine them not stepping in and helping you out on this. Stick to your guns...the inmates can't run the asylum!!!!!!!!

I agree with all of the above.
The only thing is forget resigning.
Bench the player and if the others won't play call some kids up or show up for the next game and if you are short players cancel the next game until you know you have a full roster and bench the ones who refused to play.
Find a way to keep going but do not resign.

Everyone, thank you for your support. I wish we could find additional players which would send a clear message although we might not be able to. I was asked to consider a 1 game suspension as we only have a 20 game schedule. Atleast his peers will know that what he did was wrong.

Sarnia turf the guy for 3 and let the team know that the season hangs in the balance if others walk.
I assume this is OBA .

yes, it is an OBA Senior League. This guy also thought it was ok to drink beer in the dugout during the game. Obviously everyone knows that this is unacceptable.

I encourage you to bring in players who respect the game, their Coach, themselves, & are team players.

Those "kids" sounds like a bunch of two yr. olds throwing a tantrum! Just very simply, unacceptable behavior.

A 3 game suspension seems VERY generous on your part. For the league to counter with 1 is sending a message that the rule-makers (GM, League Officials, whomever) consider tantrums/cussing part of the game, and are "negotiable"...which translates to "worthless", imo.
There is more to this game than the W-L column for a 20 game season, imo.

Sania these are 20 yo+ and they need to be told.
I would pull up some JRs or 18U players even if only temporarilly

Unfortunately you are seeing 1st hand why elite BB took over Ontario. This is the culmination of poor coaching in the past.
My son played last year for a senior COBA team with guys from 20 to 33 YO. These guys played BB at the college and ML level and you would never get that kind of flack. The team would step in and tell that player to shut it. The coach would never be confronted with the abuse.

Those senior league where players are olders, and pay to play are real difficult to coach. I Agree that you were suppose to go out and at least comment the situation with the blue, and let your player know that he cares. But for not reason the player can react against you the way he did. My preocupation is, that 5 other players back up the guy, and even the GM is trying to make you to change your position. I think, that been your first experience as manager, will be better walk out voluntarely because you like respect and discipline, that be fire because you can not control your team.

in basic agreement as well ..

and, what kind of GM doesn't back up coach?

as a compromise ya may well consider that 1 game suspension
(he's not w/the team for 1 game) ...

when he returns to the team, hand him a clipboard & bench him a few more games til you feel things are square again -

same net result & you don't have keep score/chart pitches etc for a while.

jmo

BTW, I even came up with a team code of ethics before the season started that everyone signed. Communication, being fair and respecting my own players is very important to me...which is why I have no idea why some must continue to push my buttons so to speak. Most of this doesn't have anything to do with the play between the lines just whats going on between their ears.

I think you have good intentions but you have to put your foot down and enforce your rules. Coaches are usually harder to find in your area than players.
Enforce the rules and deal with the consequences as they unfold.

sarnia, A few years ago, there was a "newish" coach, who allowed this kind of language & behavior...I had one question, How, specifically, was he going to handle the "prima dona" and the rest of the team...He hem-hawed a little saying "they're just kids".
So, I VERY directly said, "So, WHO is the Coach?"

He didn't enforce his own policy...so, the misfits started referring to him as their "female dog".
Can you imagine?
It takes courage to stand for what's right. You are holding up your end of the "Code of Conduct"...They signed it, & now THEY are in breach! Obviously, THEY are not true to their word! They made the choice FOR suspension! Your judgement of 3 games is more than fair.
Another point for your side of the ledger!

You can also tell him ( the Player ).
That you no why he did not are will not make it to the next level.
Attitude will put a roadblock in front of any player if it's a bad attitude.

Whats to defend, He threw his helmet and cussed an Ump.

He should sit the bench till he has respect for the game. Period

EH

One thing that was mentioned but not discussed was the beer drinking in the dugout. No wonder he had a run in with the umpire. I wouldn't get caught up in thinking this would be your only coaching opportunity if you walk. A league that allows drinking beer in the dugout is not at the highest level anyway. Put your foot down, hold your ground and if you are forced to do otherwise, I'd walk. "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for everything."

Beer in the duggout? Is this baseball or slow pitch softball? Are they smoking in there too? How about the girlfriends, are they in the duggout too?

Sounds to me like you need to get a handle on the situation if you are trying to play competive ball.

How old are these guys anyway?