I have quite a crew of baseball parents this year. Many of them are under classmen. First of all I have a policy not discussing playing time, because all that does it set the parents off on comparing Johnny and Jimmy. We are talking about the VARSITY level here. Dad wanted to know why his boy wasnt playing. His boy has played in every game this year either pitching, 1st base, or DHing. The young man he is platooning with at 1st base is hitting .344 and has a fielding percentage of .981. The dad's son is hitting .202 and has a .931 fielding percentage. They have roughly the same number of at bats. He is left handed the other is right handed.
That is just one case. The others in that same class just arent real talented right now, but they were little league all stars of course. Yes, their parents coached them all the way through. We are the largest school in the area so they were competing against much much smaller communities/schools at a younger level and now facing larger more talented teams.
I know not playing the game is not the end all when knowing the game, but the unrealistic parents, the fathers all DID NOT play college ball or even high school baseball for that fact.
I know I am preaching to choir here, but any helpful hints on dealing with totally unrealistic parents.
They want to run me out of town (2nd year at this school, 10th overall as a head coach), that was the dads comment before he stormed out of the ball park. If the parent situation doesnt improve, how much is being the head coach worth it? The program will NEVER thrive with a revolving door at the top. There is very coachable talent coming up. Thanks

First welcome to the site - you are going to find a great amount of info and hopefully we can help you out here.

As for the question "how much is being the head worth it?" - well only you can answer that honestly but it's a tough decision. You are torn between coaching the game you love and wondering why these parents don't get it. Let me say that it will get easier as long as you stick to your guns.

You are the new guy and I'm willing to bet based on your revolving door comment that these parents have seen many head coaches over the years. If that is the case that is what feeds them. They are the only constant the kids see and hear. More times than not the parents are telling their kids they are the greatest but the coaches message never gets through because that guy is going to be gone. These kids know what's going on even if they are in middle school. If you can stick it out and stay on for probably another two or three years this group will phase out and be replaced by a group who has seen you in action and know you got a plan, the plan works and where everyone stands coming in. It won't solve the parent problem but does stop most of them.

These parents are probably the reason why there have been many head coaches in such a short period of time. They have had "success" in such a small fishbowl that they can't see past their own ego.

Never talk about playing time because once you open that door with a bunch like this then they will use what you say about another kid to build support against you. They have to learn to cut the umbilical cord and turn their kids loose. Also, don't criticize the parents - even backhanded - to the players. Because if a kid has to choose between you and the parents the coach is going to lose everytime. Best thing to do is go the ballpark everyday and teach the game and ignore the loudmouths.

What you are going through sounds like the same thing I went through when I first became head coach at my last school. They didn't have any consistancy at the head coaching position - in fact the principal did it one year just so they could have a team. I took the job and put in my program and my expectations with a young group. It was ugly until they phased out but after that it got better. There were still some problems but you never get rid of them. It was tough but you will last longer than they will if you can hold out.

Just a bit of advice - if you got a kid hitting .344 and fielding .981 then put him in there full time.

Best of luck, stick with it and hopefully it will get better.

You want to talk unrealistic, and this is travel/showcase team, I had two parents complaining about where their kid hit in the lineup and both were starters---The underclassmen has not been invited back--great kid and nice talent but I don't need that grief---we can find another player to fill his slot--- every kid on the team is a #3/#4 hitter on their HS team---but we only have 10 slots if we use a EH---what the heck---the kid is starting==what the heck do you want as a parent but to see you kid in the starting lineup--and then ***** about the slot he hits in ---see you later Leroy !!!!


Some people just do not get it

BVers,
Maybe the negative attitude from your post is coming through to the players and the parents? Coaching isn't about having the most talented players or the players who match the style of play you prefer. Coaching is about doing your best with what you have.

There will always be some complaints. Parents are parents and that's the nature of the beast. However, when the best players are on the field and players are rewarded for hard work in non-league games complaints become very rare. If you get a complaint here and there then it is probably just parents being parents. If you get constant complaints then you are probably doing something to instigate them and you need to look at yourself instead of finding a specific case where the parent was in the wrong.

Well sounds like there are parents who care. But what I would like to ask is? Who is the primary coach for the players on a high school varsity? the dad who has been coaching his son for about six or seven years or the varsity coach? I have a philophy on hitting that I have use for my son and I have researched this topic alot and the coach just tells me it is his team and he owns my son. this really got me P.Oed. Isthis how a coach should talk to a parent/coach?

bigben

You question typifies the parental thinking today

The HS Coach is the PRIMARY COACH without a doubt !!!!

quote:

Originally posted by big ben:
Well sounds like there are parents who care. But what I would like to ask is? Who is the primary coach for the players on a high school varsity? the dad who has been coaching his son for about six or seven years or the varsity coach? I have a philophy on hitting that I have use for my son and I have researched this topic alot and the coach just tells me it is his team and he owns my son. this really got me P.Oed. Isthis how a coach should talk to a parent/coach?

When your son plays for the high school team the head coach is in charge. You are relegated to fan and nothing more. I don't agree with everything my son's high school coach does. I played at a higher level. I may know more about many of his players than he does. But it's his team. He's the boss. I'm a fan.

I'm going to guess if the conversation got to "I own your son" you must have overstepped your role as fan of the team.

Ohhhhh, a nasty topic.

We're fans now, as much as alot of us may hate it. While I am still amazed at times just how unsound some HS coaches are, for the most part they are pretty decent in teaching how the game is played and dealing with game situations. I constantly see alot of bad fundamental mechanics that get ignored or taught very poorly but for the most part, HS coaches do a fairly good job.

The real good ones I see talk about "why" to do something a certain way so the kids understand the coach's gameplan; too often "its my way or the highway" approach which is fine but rarely do I see those teams come out on top come playoff time. The real good ones are teachers of the game not simply managers of the game; there is a heckuva difference between the two. The real good ones actually do care alot about our sons' development, on and off the field, and are reasonably open to parental concerns (sorry, never playing time); open but not stupid either.

I will say watching some HS coaches teaching infielders, catchers and hitting mechanics absolutely drives me crazy at times. That, or the not recognizing bad mechanics...I don't know which bothers me the most AS I BITE DOWN VERY HARD ON MY TONGUE.

The stitches come out next week.LOL.

I am one of those Dads that use to coach his son in travel ball while he was growing up.

Once he got to High School I became just another fan and his High School Coach BECAME THE MAIN MAN. I told my son that he has to earn a spot and keep practicing to keep it from now on. That is why I love this game soo much, it emulates life's situations. Are parents going to go to their son's bosses and complain that there son should get the job or raise over someone else?

Yes, you will run across some coaches that you may feel don't know how to coach a team properly, but put yourself in their shoes and see how you would like it if parents came to you complaining. There are some coaches that were great players, but do not know how to teach the game just like there are some people that are
great parents but are too over protective when their kids have to start facing and learning life's skills leasons.

Travel Ball has made this situation alot harder on High School coaches and I feel for them. In College, you do as they say or hit the road.

Coach, stick to your guns, be fair across the board and teach the game. Don't let what the parents think drive you off your path.

Coach, I think one of the most overlooked concepts in coaching is the need for people skills. By that, I mean you have to not only be a teacher of the game and motivator of young men, you also have to be a successful manager and public relations man of the parents/fans. Too many coaches, especially at the high school level, feel they are under siege at the start of the season and lay down their rules that include what they won't discuss. I would not discuss playing time with a parent, though I will always discuss it with the player. I lay out my vision for our program each summer, and tell everyone how I intend to run the program. Now, I'll admit that I'm fortunate in that I only coach summer travel ball, but I still lay out a vision for what we're going to do and what our goals are for the coming summer. Then, I take questions at the beginning of the season before we ever start playing. That eliminates most of the doubt or uncertainty that any parent has right off the bat. Once we take the field, the parents know that their place is behind the screen, but not "behind our backs."
We have the luxury of not having to deal with these kind of parents, I'll admit, but you can still do a lot to mitigate these issues by being proactive in your approach to your people management skills.

I'd also be sure to understand the political side of coaching HS baseball. Be sure that the AD, and preferably the principal also, know what your goals and vision for the program are, and then keep them informed about the teams progress. Trust me, if they realize you're a valuable member of their school's staff, a few disgrunteled parents won't cause you to lose their support.

We have found the best way in dealing with parents is to get it out up front at the start of the season. Have an all parent meeting at the start of the season and lay out your objectives for the program including team rules etc, etc. Stress that playing time is based on performance and putting the best 9 on the field that YOU and YOUR COACHES feel will give you the best chance of winning. Remind them that this is not LL anymore. Have a rule that you will not talk to parents about playing time and only the players. Make the players take responsability. Kids get it, some parents don't, just the way it is.

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
You want to talk unrealistic, and this is travel/showcase team, I had two parents complaining about where their kid hit in the lineup and both were starters---The underclassmen has not been invited back--great kid and nice talent but I don't need that grief---we can find another player to fill his slot--- every kid on the team is a #3/#4 hitter on their HS team---but we only have 10 slots if we use a EH---what the heck---the kid is starting==what the heck do you want as a parent but to see you kid in the starting lineup--and then ***** about the slot he hits in ---see you later Leroy !!!!


Some people just do not get it

I have never understood this,why would it matter where the kid bats if he is helping the TEAM win.I could understand it if the team is losing and the parent THINKS their son would help the team win if they were batting 3rd or 4rth but that shouldn't be something they discuss with the coach,unless they are asked.



My son was batting lead off(10u)for the first couple tournament last year.He was doing great but the team was struggling winning.There was no production from the middle and bottom(batting 11)My son missed(ignored) a couple signs from the first base coach and was moved to 7th(he was safe in both cases but that will NEVER be tolerated from a good coach)(he actually had to sit half the next game and when he came in,it was in the middle of the order) and the TEAM instantly saw better scoring and was winning more games.He brought production to the middle and they started winning. He was never moved back to the lead off role.Made sense to me,they were winning.

I feel for you coach. I have been there and done that. One way I found to combat this situation and its a little off the wall but effective.

Send out a weekly newsletter to all the parents. Talk about the positives and negatives during that weeks play. Now here is the kicker, include up to date stats for the whole team and depth chart.

This way Billy Bobs dad can now see where his son compares to the rest of the team. Include Batting Avg, Fielding percentage, OBP, Slugging and so on.

Then next time dad or mom comes up and says why isnt Billy starting over ***, you can then say did you not get the newsletter and that will usually shut them up.

Hope it helps.

quote:

Well sounds like there are parents who care. But what I would like to ask is? Who is the primary coach for the players on a high school varsity? the dad who has been coaching his son for about six or seven years or the varsity coach? I have a philophy on hitting that I have use for my son and I have researched this topic alot and the coach just tells me it is his team and he owns my son. this really got me P.Oed. Isthis how a coach should talk to a parent/coach?

If that's the only way the coach gets his message across, it is. Maybe telling a parent he "owns your kid" isn't the best way to put it without coming across confrontational, but The parents should already know that HS baseball is the kid's experience, not theirs and the HC runs the show. Time to cut the cord in HS. Some parents haven't learned that yet.

Now a smart HC will head coach will head all this stuff off in the preseason once the teams are picked and has a parents only meeting, which can be arranged during a booster club meeting or some other time when the HC can have a Q&A with the parents so they know how things are done and what's expected out of them.

quote:

We have found the best way in dealing with parents is to get it out up front at the start of the season. Have an all parent meeting at the start of the season and lay out your objectives for the program including team rules etc, etc. Stress that playing time is based on performance and putting the best 9 on the field that YOU and YOUR COACHES feel will give you the best chance of winning. Remind them that this is not LL anymore. Have a rule that you will not talk to parents about playing time and only the players. Make the players take responsability. Kids get it, some parents don't, just the way it is.

I am a parent - and a mom no less - of a player who has been through high school and is in his first year of JC. I would agree with the quote above, our hs coach did this and we would never dare ask about playing time! Everything worked out for the best and we all learned along the way. I would, in that parent meeting, say that if someone is not getting playing time, the PLAYER should be encouraged to talk to the coach about what he can do to get better, what can he do to earn more time. THe coach needs to emphasize that to his players, and much more than once. Often the players - especially the young ones - are afraid of the coach, afraid of looking like they are wimps, afraid they are looking like complainers. Emphasize your open door policy.
If that conversation doesn't satisfy, then agree to meet with the parent(s) of the player and the player, and take somebody (an assistant, the Ad, whoever) with you to the appointment. Refuse to compare individuals, if you need to compare the player to the team. As a mom, I would suggest that coaches never forget that the reason they are coaching is to teach the love of the game and the skills needed to play it. When you do this, and you have hard working guys, you win.
Growling at parents and players does not work.
I agree that once parents figure out the system, they will abide, with of course a few that think their player is the best in the universe.
(Which, secretly, all moms think that, but we learn to keep our mouths shut!)

now I have read some nice stuff here this is what I was looking for. Now I have another question, it sort of answered earlier but I would like clarification. If the HC is teaching fundamentals that are not corect or inferior mechanics should we let our sons learn this or teach them better way to do it, so THEY can succeed, not the parents I'm trying to look out for my son not me. As for telling your son to talk to the coach I don't think he will listen to him becuase it's my way or highway statement, these are kids trying to negotiate out adult type problems. Does anybody coach at HS have any moments where one of the players came and talk to them and listened and said you know what johnny your right the stuff I'm teaching you is inferior and we'll do it your way now? if so, I aplogize right now becuase he would be able to admit that sometimes we all don't know enough and there are some new ways to get things done Thanks to everybody who replied to this, It has helped alot. Oh, one last thing if you see your boss doing something that is losing the company money, do you just sit back and let it happen? Becuase after all he is the boss and it is his team or do say somthing to him? And now I don't think my son is the greatest he is good but we have room for improvement thats why I to see very good instruction and coaching thanks agian

Well one response I can make to your last post. Lets take hitting mechanics. We as coaches are more at ease teaching the style mechanics we know, its human nature.

There are two types of hitting mechanics, Rotational and Linear. If you happen to be a coach that understands linear but you have a kid that uses rotational, you might want to try and change those mechanics because its not something you might believe in but yet mom and dad has spent 10k having little Johnny learn that hitting style and its been productive for little Johnny and your team.

So there are certain situations where it cant just be what the coach wants a player on his team to learn when it contradicts another proper way of doing things. This is just one example of the coaches way isnt always the right way.

I would even bet on this forum that there are varying opinions on which style hitting is best
Rotational or Linear...LOL but thats another thread to start

quote:

include up to date stats for the whole team and depth chart.

Ouch! Why not just include darts for the parents to throw at the coach. Stats can be very misleading. Especially when they're in small numbers like school ball. All a coach needs to do is have one meeting at the beginning of the year explaining how things will be. I believe the two things universal on coach's lists of "parents stay away" is playing time and position.

quote:

If the HC is teaching fundamentals that are not corect or inferior mechanics should we let our sons learn this or teach them better way to do it

Last week I asked my son why he did something in a game. He explained the coach told him to do it. I asked how he felt about his result (it was negative). I told him I disagreed with the coach and told him what could go wrong and how he should handle the situation. Then I told my son to do what he feels will keep him from getting removed from the lineup.

quote:

I would even bet on this forum that there are varying opinions on which style hitting is best
Rotational or Linear...

What you will find is a backing for the ML swing. Rotational is a marketing term created by Epstein to differentiate his teaching style from others. If you look at what Charlie Lau Jr teaches, which is considered to be linear, it's very much like (but not the same) what Epstein is teaching. The reality is an ideal MLB swing falls is what most people who use the term rotational are looking for. However, good hitters do anything to fight off good pitching. You will see them go "linear" to foul off pitches to avoid striking out or hit behind runners.

That's as far as I go with the rotational/linear discussion. After several years of chat boards I'm sick of it.