I know this is probably a very touchy subject and I will try to approach it with as much honesty as I can. Our High School coach does not seem to play fair. The boys don't earn their positions based on their skills,it seems to be based on what parent can do the most for the program. This is not a new problem, it's been going on for years and although 90% of the parents and other teachers at the school seem to have accepted it, it just makes me sad for the kids who just never seem to get a chance because they don't come from affluent homes or their parents can't volunteer all the time because they have to work. My son plays and sometimes I feel like we may be part of the problem, because we go along with it. My son is bothered by it, he has alot of friends who are great players but because they are not part of the "inner circle" they sit the bench. Many parents over the years have tried to talk to the coach, high school administrators etc. but to no avail. Shouldn't kids play based on their ability? Our coach has been somewhat successful over the years, I really don't want to post win loss stats as I'm sure many people from our area come to this site. Any ideas?

MY advice--stay out of it

Obviously if he is winning the AD will turn a deaf ear to you abyway

One question--- if the better kids, in your estimation, are sitting on the bench how come he wins?? Perhaps the better players are on the field

TRhit

LIfe, at times, is not fair.

No need for you to be a "champion" of a cause because it will only negatively impact on your son's relationship with the coach (whether you believe it or not).

The coach has already injected "favoritism" into the team; he has won with that attitude; and, there is nothing for you to do at this time. If you do, you are likely to "hurt" your son.

If other other parents feel as you do, and their sons are involved, they should be the ones that start the "protestations".

Unless a parent is at every practice and hears every word spoken by the coach its unfair to judge his playing time actions.

Sometimes talent is not enough to be a starter.Sometimes the better talent is on the bench because they refuse to play team ball.The team ball I refer to is hustle and attitude.

If a superstar is constantly berating a team mate for an error or strike out at the plate he's not my idea of a team player.

If a player wants to mouth off to the umpire or worse yet to a coach he's not a team player. If he whines about bunting because he wants to swing away he's not a team player.

There is more to being a starter than just being talented. Some parents don't seem to see this and wonder why a player is not starting even when he seems to be talented.

This may not be the case with the situation you described but it might be something to consider.

There will ALWAYS be coach's favorites thats a given. Life is often unfair. Some coach's handle it to the teams benefit better than others.

I would say stay out of it and just stay positive with the players. You might suggest they find a quality summer team so they can get the looks they deserve if they are thinking of college.

Seadog

The choices we make dictate the lives we lead.

Reading this post from a coach's perspective, I was stuck with this thought...the nine best players sometimes do not make the best nine. I don't pretend to know your situation, and I am not trying to judge, but I agree with earlier posts. The coach is having success and without being at practice to see how the players perform with their teammates, react to pressure, set an example for others to emulate (or not), etc., no person can make the decision on who makes up the best nine except the coach.
I am a little biased, but I once had a father come to me once who stated I played favorites, and did not have best nine on the field. Furthermore, "everyone" knew I did not put the best lineup on the field the previous season.

That season we were 26-3 and state runners-up...the previous season we were state champions. Just goes to show you, you can never make every parent happy

I'm a mom replying to this post here, because even though you also posted in the ladies lounge I think the discussion is best served in one thread.

Let me preface by saying that my kid has been on both sides of this situation over the years, sometimes the favored, sometimes the passed over, sometimes clearly deserved, sometimes not so clear.

I have a couple thoughts:

1) You say your son plays--I take this to mean that your son does not sit on the bench as his friends do. When you look at the kids on the bench, is there one who your son thinks is better than him? Who should be playing your kid's position while your son sits on the bench? If so--your son needs to have a talk with the coach about your son's skills and contributions to the team. Feeling like you have a position you haven't earned does no one any good. This conversation has to be between your son and his coach. It is no one's business but theirs.

If your son feels like he's earned his own position fairly but is sticking up for his friends--I wouldn't worry anymore about it. Possibly the coach knows a thing or two those boys don't. It's been known to happen.

2)Consider that it is much easier to sit on the bench and complain that so-and-so is starting only because his parents paid for the field than it is to spend extra hours every day all year round working on your skills to the point where the coach has no other choice than to play you. So you may have to work harder than somebody else to get to the same place--so what? If your goal is to play, it really doesn't matter who's playing in front of you or why. You just go out and keep doing your job until you get where you want to go.

Just my opinion as a mom. Coaches may think differently.

I am intriqued by this question time and time again. How many people honestly belive that a coach purposely does not play the players he believes to be his best nine? I had a parent approach me one day and ask why his son was not our everyday shortstop. I simply asked him to stop by practice the next day and watch his son's work habits. If he then beleived his son should be our shortstop please call me. I saw him in the distance at practice so I knew he was there, but he never asked me again why his son was not our everyday shortstop. I have sat more talented players for lesser talents in the past and will do so again. I will play the nine guys who I feel will give their best effort everyday. I have had very talented kids in the past who only felt the need to bust it twice or three times a week. Those guys don't play very often on my team.

eck10....AMEN...

"If you can imagine it you can create it. If you can dream it, you can become it". William Arthur Ward

"Baseball is Life"

DIVA,

While I certainly can't speak to your situation specifically, I agree with Eck...it is SO unusual for a baseball coach to sit the best players on his team and play "favorites" who's parents contributed time and money....

I can certainly think of times when I've tried to get a backup player in because he's a great kid who works hard, but I've never done it just because his dad donated a batting cage or whatever....often times, that great kid's parents just happen to be great people too, and therefore they donate their time and money. That doesn't mean that is why their son is playing.

Remember, despite how well you know your son, his coach (assuming he knows what he's doing) is with him every day for many weeks, watching his skills. Perhaps your son, or the other boys who you feel should be starting, are not as good as they used to be, or aren't performing as they need to in practice.

What are your thoughts?

"Swing hard in case you hit something" Gary Ward

To think that favoritism does not exist is not reality. To believe that it is malicious or for who gives the most money is not reality.

Of course a coach is going to have favorites. Some of these guys he has been through 2 or 3 seasons with. I wouldn't respect him if he did not have favorites. Where I have a problem is when the coach lets that bias overlook a younger more talented player in favor of "he'll get his chance". I also have seen firsthand that a coach confuses physical maturity with baseball ability, thus leaving a talented player on the bench. I have seen coaches so intent on their favorites that he leaves them in in 10 run games even though he could re-enter his starters if it gets close, but choses not to put in younger subs to develop.

Some coaches will hold back a players development so as not to embarass an upperclassman who will not play at the next level. Though I understand it to some degree, it is not fair to a kid who has worked so hard to excel. jmo

"I love the HSBBW"

I agree that coaches want to win. I agree that their are favorites involved. I agree that we (parents) don't always have enough information to make this call....and we all could adjust a line up give or take a player or two...

bbscout - Although I would agree its rare, I've seen it. And later facts proved it to be the case. It involved a coach's determination that seniors play ahead of underclassmen, almost no matter what happened. Even had the coach tell me, "I've got a problem, the sophomores are better than the seniors."

I said, "Whats the problem?"

He said, "I can't play a sophomore ahead of a senior."

Underclassmen (both of them) on bench went on to college ball (one is frosh this year, other signed for D1 next year). Senior did not move on. Coach wasn't rehired for following year.

Only point is, it happens sometimes.

I've seen what you are speaking of but not in high school ball but in Babe Ruth. IN the B.R. league my son was in there was no way for him to get a tryout in Mickey Mantle. The coach of his team was blatantly showing favoritism and my son and others only got to play when other kids didn't show or if they were needed. The odd part about the Mickey Mantle team was they were winning and with kids I had seen play several times that were not the best players while other kids were not even allowed a tryout even when they requested one. On the B.R. team when no other pitchers were available and the one who was pitching was getting rocked my son was finally brought in. Pitched a one hitter over 5 innings and was told by the coach as they left the field "You Suck". At the final game of the year the coach brought to the game his younger sons who were not on the team and played them while team members sat the bench. I called the league president and informed him my son would not play the following season and why. At the time no one thought it would matter. But the following season most of the team failed to return and they could not field a team. A new coach was brought in and he finally got enough kids to field a team. The new coach seems like a good one and they probably won't have those problems again and the new coach asked my son to play for him several times but he had moved up to a higher competition level and is vary happy with his new team.

Jw
That is an incredible story. If you told me that and I had not been involved in coaching and being a parent of a player I would say it was far fetched.But the way things are and have developed over the years it sadly does happen. Then people wonder why kids get tired of playing or in some cases trying to play.

Big Hit 15
I agree totally. In the league i was involved with we had no 10 run rule or re entry. It was tough to get the bench players some time. What I did was schedule a non conference game every week. Those kids knew that they were going to not only play but start that game. Winning the game was not as important as getting them their at bats and innings.And over the years what I saw in those games made for some significant time for them down the road. You would think with the 10 run rule and re entry the coach would have a no brainer in this regard.

I've got a couple of comments, on both sides of this. First, this year I watched a high school team play all season. Many of the parents were scathing about the coach. I, too thought that some players didn't get the playing time that I thought they deserved (plus and minus.) I had the opportunity to coach essentially the same group of players later in the year, and by the time a dozen practices and games had gone by I realized why the school coach had done what he did, and conclude that he was right all along. So if your opinion of whether or not the coach is playing based on talent is based on what you saw from outside the fence during games, you might think differently if you were on the field with the players every day for practice and in games.
On the other hand, an honest coach will admit that he hopes fervently that the "big booster's" kid will be good enough to deserve to play on his own merits; because if he isn't, the coach is gonna get reamed by somebody, all season long. And if it's a close call; well, yeah, "booster's" kid probably will get the benefit of the doubt. Just reality.

D'oh!

The day may never come but people in the stands have to realize that it is more than just "talent" that gets a player playing time.

Talk to Jon Gruden down in Tampa Bay !!!!! God bless him for standing up to the BS!!!!

TRhit

Dont worry too much about the coaches. The vast majority of them do the right thing and want to win IMO.

Worry about the local media. Thats where it can get ugly.

Ive never in my over 20 years of coaching met a coach that did not try to win every game they were in. Even the most ignorant coach knows in order to give yourself the best chance to win you play your best players. Now there might be some disagreement over who thinks the best players are. Especially between parents and coachs. That is to be expected. But believe me if your son is a stud then unless he has a attitude problem he will be on the field. Whens the last time you have seen a parent tell the coach "My son is not one of the best players so please take him out of the lineup coach". Your not helping you child by offering up excuses on why he is not in the lineup. Give him some solutions on how he can earn a spot and he wont need excuses.

Most coaches are stubborn power freaks (good trait) and got into coaching because they thought they had the formula and leadership skills to produce a winner. I cannot envision a SUCCESSFUL coach that wins by using poltics. High School athletic careers are short lived and parents disappear as fast as they come on board with the exception of the sibbling factor. Find a parent that cries politics and in most cases most of the other parents will say the parents appraisal of the kids talent is over rated. Those parents should check out practices where pt is determined. There are exceptions to the rule but for what a hs coach is paid it makes no sense to be a parental pawn.

Because of this perception that has evolved over the years, it has gotten to the point with me that I am almost to the point of no longer asking parents to help with anything. I am so reluctant to do this because without parental help, we would lack many resources here. But it does seem that parents who help sometimes expect things in return. We try to evaluate as fairly as possible to put the nine players on the field that will give us the best opportunity to win in that particular situation. Parets are always biased towards their children. I see my nine-year-old daughter differently than my riends see her, because she's mine. Only when parents can become totally objective, attend practice every day, and know what happens with any program will this change. However, I do not know of any coaches that intentionally cheat kids, but you must look at more than ability. Look at attitude, work ethic, coachability, cooperativeness with teammates, etc... All of this makes for a successful team.

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The only thing between extraordinary and ordinary is that little EXTRA.

Good Things may come to those who wait, but only things left by those that hustle!