Let me start by saying that the high school baseball web has been -- hands down -- the best resource we've found for information, support and help. And, that's not just about baseball, it's about life and raising boys.
Here's my question. Our College freshman pitcher has been going through fall drills and "try-outs' for his D3 college team. Although he won't admit to freshman jitters, his comments say otherwise. He's really down after a bad bullpen and very high after a good one. Happy to say that after one bad bullpen, he's pitched really well, (Dad witnessed him pitch some great inter-squad innings) but we're thinking that more is going on inside that's he's telling us.
So, experienced and wise Mom's -- what's the best approach. Should we just listen -- boost his confidence -- give him a speech about doing his best -- it's all about being a teammate and contributing? He's gone from being his team's #1 for two years to being a the low end of the food chain.
Baseball ya-ya sisterhood, can you help??
Mays
Say Hey!
Posts: 152 | Location: Southern California | Registered: January 04, 2003
Chill posted a great article on another thread that might be helpful for your son to read. It's about Cy Young award winner Roy Halladay and his 'lifetime achievement award'. Check out www.cbs.sportsline.com/mlb/story/6823808
Also, I'd ask him how the other kids are doing on a day to day basis and put himself in perspective. Good luck!
----------------------------- "Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10"
Posts: 1121 | Location: Northern California | Registered: August 26, 2003
My son went through the same thing last year as a freshman catcher - we told him to work hard, stay confident, do his best - as it turned out he was the only freshman position player to make the varsity team. I think that coaches realize players have good days and bad days.....these nerves don't really go away until final cuts are posted - then you get into the "first college game" nerves. My advice is just be supportive. By the way, 5 freshmen pitchers made my son's college varsity team last year and 2 were in the starting rotation.
quote:He's gone from being his team's #1 for two years to being a the low end of the food chain.
This is probably one of the toughest situations for these players, isn't it? Being top dog on the totem pole to the one trying to get on the totem pole. We can all appreciate that.
quote: what's the best approach. Should we just listen -- boost his confidence -- give him a speech about doing his best -- it's all about being a teammate and contributing?
My gut reaction is to say ... all of the above ... because I think you can mix those suggestions into different conversations you have with him without giving him mixed messages. Trying to "make the team" is tough, because our boys seem to focus on the rough outings and not the good ones. They presume that the coaches are remembering when they struggled instead of when they succeeded. I guess I would emphasize that he needs to remember that he has the talent, or the coaches wouldn't have invited him to be there.
I think sometimes it is tougher on the players at D-3 schools because the athletic scholarships aren't there ... the future may seem less sure. But again, the coaches saw what he could do in high school and they invited him for a reason. I would just keep emphasizing that.
Also, I think that we moms see our son's hearts and fears and concerns more clearly than dads sometimes do. I am sure he will open up if he is really feeling the need to share. He obviously knows you both care, or you wouldn't be hearing anything from him. Just keep the communications open ... and keep boosting his morale.
And please keep us posted on his success. (When will he learn if he "made the team"?)
H-mom * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * We learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp; some are dull; some are pretty; some have weird names; all are different colors. And they all have to learn to live in the same box.
Posts: 3937 | Location: Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight ... | Registered: January 02, 2003
HighlanderMom - Is your penguin kinda sleepy? Or just cant get up after the weekend?
About these freshmen...Fall season, good outings, bad outings. You know, these boys have to be feeling a lot of pressure. Ours is a freshman at juco, and he is BUSY. Think about it, it's probably the first time they have been away from home, and they are taking a full load of classes, and playing ball every day. Some of them will get cut before the season even starts. I'm kind of thinking that our son won't get cut, and will see a lot of playing time come February. His coach is still having them all believe that a spot on the team is not certain. Maybe a lot of coaches do this. Seems like it would fend off complacency among the team.
For a lot of boys, it may not be jitters. It could be performance anxiety, after all - their immdidate future depends on it.
I think they need to be reminded that all they can do is thier best, we love them whatever happens, keep on doing what has worked for them in the past. I'm just waiting it out. He will be home for Thanksgiving break for the first time this semster. I may or may not get a better feel about how he is doing over this time instead of the monosyllabic conversation I usually enjoy with him.
Our son had lost confidence and started walking people, when he is known for his control. It was terrible for about two weeks. He was overwhelmed with the class schedule, with the need to study way more than in high school, and was sick with a cold. I talked to his high school coach, who sent him a nice email that seemed to make a difference. Then he talked to the college coach, who helped him also. He has since felt good about getting upperclassmen out. He's not trying to be as perfect, and he's doing alot better.
Remember that the coach would probably not have him there if he didn't see talent in him.
Most kids who are lucky enough to play college ball have been one of the better players on their HS team. It doesn't make sense to me for an incoming player to assume they will instantly be at the top of the heap as a freshmen in college....of course, it happens, but your son's focus should be on making a positive contribution each and every time he is given that opportunity. He will have good days and bads days. The coaches have seen that before.
One pitch at a time, one inning at a time... Control what he can control. It will all work out!
______________________________ By the time you learn how to play the game... You can't play it anymore ~ Frank Howard
Posts: 2525 | Location: Northeast | Registered: December 31, 2002
At the 1st of the season last year, when my son was a freshman, he had one bad outing in Hawaii. On the flight home, the coach told him that good pitchers have short memories & a sense of humor. This made my son feel a little better.
My computer has been out of synch with HSBW, so this post is delayed ...
BasicMom ...
quote:HighlanderMom - Is your penguin kinda sleepy? Or just cant get up after the weekend?
Several things come to mind ...
Week-end related ... Uh oh ... where the h*** am I?
Age related ... Help, I've fallen and I can't get up.
Season related ... All together now ... We wish you a Merry Christmas.
H-mom * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * We learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp; some are dull; some are pretty; some have weird names; all are different colors. And they all have to learn to live in the same box.
Posts: 3937 | Location: Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight ... | Registered: January 02, 2003
Hi Ladies - Just wanted to let you know that the freshman made the baseball team! After the Christmas break he'll go back and pick up his gear and get a number.
We met some of the upperclassmen from his team and they were all great. Most importantly, they saw the freshman as just one of the guys. This was a big relief for parents, and, we think, a bit of a relief for the freshman.
Very nice Christmas present in our household. Best wishes to all! Happy Holidays.
Mays
Say Hey!
Posts: 152 | Location: Southern California | Registered: January 04, 2003
Great news.
