I was saddened to learn of Bill Parcells' retirement, and I began to ponder what the aftermath would be. Here is what I came up with:



Jerry Jones will sets the wheels of change in motion by hiring OU's Bob Stoops as the Cowboys' new head coach.



Oklahoma quickly fills its vacancy by hiring Mike Leach away from Texas Tech.



Tech, in turn, coaxes out of retirement none other than Bill Parcells to coach the Red Raiders. Faced with the task of covering both Bill Parcells and Bob Knight, all Lubbock Avalanche Journal sportswriters demand hazard pay and bulletproof vests.
Women want to be with him, men want to be him.
Surely Oklahoma can't resist those pouty lips.
Will he be throwing that headset at Terrell Owens next year?