MLB scout after witnessing a player throw to home plate from the outfield using a gernade like throwing motion.

MLB scout" Do you know where your high school coach lives.
Player: "Yeah"
MLB Scout, " well you ought to go to his house and shoot him for not correcting the way you throw the ball"


MLB scout" Man you need to get your throws down. I don't want to have Greenpeace picketing our field because you are killing birds with your throws.

MLB scout to a catcher: "Man you are the first player I know who needs a cutoff man on throws to 2nd base"

Quote: "His parents must have used a convenience store to measure his height and a circus carny to guess his weight before filling in this profile sheet".


Quote: " Must be inflation 'cause 88 looks more like 78 these days".

I know this is an old one but there may be some who haven't heard it. "Pitcher must be sick, he's throwing up!"

An old coach with the Angels told a signee after missing three ground balls in a row at shortstop-"Son, a cow died so you could have a ballglove...USE IT".

Moc1

"He's quicker than the last Mass at a summer resort "

Get your arms loose. The first one with a black eye is cut.

One of the best I heard:

"Hey...look! It's scout."

"Naaahhh. It's just andy."

Redbird (self proclaimed baseball expert)

Please list all the MLB teams you have worked for as a MLB scout.

30 years ago,
scout: Hey pitch, quit throwing all that junk, we just wanna see fastballs.

player(me): What fastball?

Player after facing a sidearm righty throwing 88-89mph

man they throw harder here than they do in softball

Said to pitcher after not backing up 3b:

Thats a great spot to watch the game from, how much did you pay for that ticket?

these are still funny. can you tell i'm bored.

"Son I have seen better swings on a porch."

A coach to a pitcher who had a rough outing: "Next time I will have the grounds crew drag the warning track"

One of my favorites..
Tell them to take a couple days off, then after that QUIT...

Player is so bad he couldnt play dead in a cowboy movie...

"Mix in a catch."

"You have a new nickname son. Butter Bean because you just got shelled."

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One of the reasons I stopped coaching my son on a team--"Would you please start throwing some D++M strikes" Him "Im trying" Me "If you want to eat tonight, youll try harder" He was like 12 at the time, so I figured it was time to pump the brakes!!

After a broken bat base hit and a run scored. Player upset his favorite bat broke. The Coach says atleast the bat died a hero!

Got a nail at home? Drive it in the wall and hang your spikes on it.

As the player throws the ball over the first base dugout from ss, the coach says "shows great arm strength!"