The stress of a college kid is way different than an adults---don't forget, they are trying to figure out who they are--and what their purpose in life is....and trying to figure out just what life is.

Add to that the stress of wondering if they are in the right major, if they will be able to get a job and have a career with that major and support themselves with it...

Add to that the stress of baseball (or other sport)--if they can make the team and if so, will they play. Sometimes it's not about talent...

Add to that the stress of what's going on in the world today--if there will even BE a world for them. And if so, what it will look like...

If we look at this and pooh-pooh their stress, keep in mind that we are looking at them through eyes with maturity, experience, and wisdom.

They don't have much of it yet.



This is a different world than the one that I grew up in. And I grew up in the Age of Aquarius. The internet, alone, is scary--with everything that is available on it.

I agree--the only thing we can do is be supportive, love them, and pray. At least that's what I'm doing.


Bordeaux, you and the Stanford community are in my prayers. Thanks for letting us know.

its:

New recipes? Just doubling the amount of Shea Bernaise in any particular recipe, be it moose or goose, does not constitute a new recipe.

Gotwood,

Shea Bernaise. LOL

This term - that you originally coined - actually has stuck in my head. LOL

I am losing it - rapidly.

P.S. If you behave - I will throw a new recipe out tonight for you to enjoy.

quote:

Originally posted by itsinthegame:
Shea Bernaise. LOL
I am losing it - rapidly.

Well what do you expect its? When you keep doubling it up for your new recipes...yeah...you're going to lose it...rapidly!


Let me know if you need to restock the supply you keep in your attic...I've got some Mets Merchandise Dollars that I found along the tracks here in town...must have been some overstuffed Conrail hobo that tossed 'em out!

quote:

P.S. If you behave - I will throw a new recipe out tonight for you to enjoy.

See...that's me ...behaving.

I'm looking forward to your new moose-i-lif-i-lous culinary creation!

Shea Bernaise all the way!

Thread really sums college ball up. My daughter, loved softball, star in hs and in area and then played as a freshman her first year. She took 18 hours in the fall so she could only take 12 in spring to allow time for softball. She's also an athletic training major which required alot of time. This year the school got a new coach who does not budge at all on the 4 hour mandatory practices plus lifting etc so mine has decided not to play. It was hard at first to accept it since she always loved the game and had a great time last year. Athletic training as well as many fields you have to have an outstanding GPA to stay in the program. Although I thought I'd never hear it from her but she said I'm here to get an education which has to come before playing ball. Good luck to all those athletes who can juggle grades, time and play a college sport!

I may have left the incorrect impression. The girl who lost her life last week (we still don't know for sure that it was a suicide, but that is what the police seem to think is most likely at this point) was not an athlete, but rather a graduate student in electrical engineering who was almost unbelievably smart. (Bachelor's and master's from MIT, Ph.D. candidate at Stanford, perfect SATs and grades, and beautiful to boot). The point is, that depression and isolation, lack of support in a highly competitive environment, are common denominators.

Of course you have to distinguish mere "whining"--which we can all wink at--from something more serious. The problem as I wrote somewhere else is that sometimes the first sign of a serious problem is suicide. Just be attentive and try to discern the difference--not that it is necessarily possible to do so.

I have degrees from Harvard and Stanford Law School. I am raising three children, managing a house, and have a solo law practice in a very stressful field. I also run about 25 miles a week, hard. The workload I have runs from about 6 in the morning to 10 or 11 o'clock a night, nonstop including lunch at my desk. My workload and stress level is NOTHING compared to my son's. OTOH, he has more fun than I do, too (as it should be, ah youth!)

Interesting posts all around about stress, time management etc. for the athletes. My son had a hard too at the beginning but seems to have sorted himself out. However, one major concern I have is the kids not eating right or enough and getting sick. What with the overcrowding, messy dorms, unhigenic everything and stress they do catch everything going around. My son has been quite ill this fall and both roommates had mono. Luckily he didn't catch that! But to me this is the biggest worry. The athletes really do need more time to eat right and rest.

When we are stressed, our bodies can't fight all of the germs that lurk about.....so we get sick....which leads to more stress......

quote:

The athletes really do need more time to eat right and rest.

I think we ALL do !!

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While I fully understand, appreciate and do not by any means underestimate the pressures and dangers of stress...

I do love taking the big picture and sometimes if I am very, very fortunate...turning a perception on a single phrase or quote…

..I'll throw this out there....

I was watching the Semi-Finals of the Australian Open Tennis this week. One of the announcers was talking about pressure of the match...A lifetime worth of work to get there, tens of millions of dollars on the line, a place in history, a once in a lifetime shot to get to a Grand-slam final...

And the other announcer quoted Billie Jean King:

quote:

Pressure is a privilege

From one viewpoint to have simply have our sons in a position to experience this kind of stress is a positive miracle in and of itself…. to live in this great country, to have parents who care enough to keep an eye on them, and helped then get here, to have a support structure, to be playing collegiate baseball and getting a high end education, to have a coach looking out for them in school, to have great teammates and friendship...all pretty darned special. I know 19 kids off last years HS team that would love to have these kinds of problems.

The more I think about this phrase, the more I understand and appreciate it, and will use it with mine when appropriate.

We and our players are all very, very fortunate.

44
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Observer44,you're absolutely right, and most of the time the kids realize that and are in their element. Because this has been their dream and they are living it, when they DO start to get down, in a way it just strikes home a bit more because you know that they really are wanting to do this and yet it is still overwhelming at times even though they love it. That's when a parent's unconditional love comes in handy .

Sorry--as you can tell, the events of the last week kind of shook me up, shook all of us here up, and make us question whether we need to be concerned.

For some of the practical issues:

I am absolutely sold on Airborne as an immunity booster. You can laugh about it, but I live with 3 people who are Virus Importers, and since I've started taking it, I haven't been sick one day in 18 months despite more or less constant exposure to bugs. Son takes it too, has a good supply at school.

I buy cases of protein bars (ProMax from Trader Joe's has been the traditional favorite) and deliver them. Stanford dorms seem to have really healthy food so that is okay, but it's a problem on game nights because by the time they are through playing, it is late and everything except fast food seems to be closed often. Haven't come up with a solution to that yet. They do all have refrigerators but healthy hot meals during the season are often hard to come by.

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My word!...No need to apologize...We are all prone to such thoughts and circumstances...and the parental scrambling that goes with them...

It's just that the BJK quote really brought home to me the fact that the drama is so often in part self induced and a simple change in perception can often revive the energy to move forward.

Beyond that, struggle is the stone upon which we are sharpened.

Also helps to remember back...some of the most hilarious college nights ever were during the stress of finals week, when you knew you didn't have the luxury of the time to laugh or goof and yet that was exactly what you had to do to cut the oppressive feel of the stress...

44
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[The point is, that depression and isolation, lack of support in a highly competitive environment, are common denominators.]

Bordeaux...we're from San Francisco and read the news about this young woman with a keen sense of "it could be anybody's child"..yet we're putting our athletic kids into highly charged and high pressured situations that others cannot comprehend. I worry about my son all the time (and he's just finishing high school) and wonder if he's just putting on a good front..or if he's really okay about the pressure. I know I read alot into situations...but I'm an emergency room nurse and I see a lot of bad,frightening stuff every day.

Freshamn son calls on friday and life is not good. Many of the same things that these post refer to. He had just taken a huge Biology mid term and got only 1 at bat during the Friday game. As I reinforce, coddle and try and make him happy I realize I am going about this the wrong way. My husband swore that I was a bit cold hearted when I told my son simply; "There are a million people that would pay to have the opportunities he had and to play college ball. There are a million people who would give their left hand to be able to attend college that cannot because of money reasons and you should thank god and your coaches for giving you the playing time that you as a freshman are getting" He raised his voice and said "I knew I should not have called you, you don't understand"
In response I told him I understood how hard he works in school and on the field however, when he gets into the working world he will need to be able to continue to work hard and deal with all types of people. Saturday son calls all happy, he caught a complete game, went 2 for 3 and made an 81 on his Biology test. Ends the call with thanks and I love you. Life is good again for a few days