Son is in second year of going away to school.
I have been thinking about what it would have been like here if He had gone to a local school.There are lots of things to consider but I would like some opinions on the pros and cons of your child going away to school or staying local. Keep in mind that I realize that some areas do not have institutes of higher learning.

I have my own opinion as to what has transpired but I would like others opinions.

If going to a 4 year school I would still keep it within a 4-6 hr drive. Going to a juco. An hour or 2. I would not send my son far away to a juco especially if the choice was predicated on baseball.

Personally we would have preferred my son to stay in state, but he chose to go where he felt more comfortable away from home, a smaller school out of state.
I hear that parents learn to adjust.

Mine is a freshman at an in-state D3, only about a 90 minute drive away. When he was looking at schools, he preferred to find a school close enough to drive home when he wished, but definitely planned to move out and live in the dorms even if he had chosen a college in our metro area (there are quite a few).

He comes home almost every weekend to see his girlfriend, but we also really appreciate that we see him frequently. (His 16-yr-old brother was surprised at how much HE misses his brother!) The frequent visits have made the transition of moving out much easier for him and for us, and if/when the time comes in the future when we don't see him very often, it will be easier to adjust because of this transition period. I'm sure that when baseball season starts his visits home will be much less frequent. He has seemed really happy, with minimal homesickness, and obviously is forming strong friendships with teammates, his roommate, and some other new friends at college.

I assume you're mostly asking for the pros/cons for the student.

I went to school 20 minutes from my parents' home...lived on/near campus for first 3 years (out of home). It worked fine...it could be like 5 hours away if I wanted it to be and it could be like 20 minutes away if I wanted that too. Nice to come home quickly for a home-cooked meal or to do laudry (OK, my mom did it ).

My 2 older sons go to college close to home too (1 is about 45 minutes away, the other 15 minutes away). It seems to work in their case too. They call the shots about contact with us. The 45-minute one pretty much stays at school except for the breaks. We hear from him about as much as we need too. The 15-minute one is a freshman and we hear from him a bit more. He stops by home for a good meal or to borrow the car about every other week. He's the one who plays baseball and we haven't been to one of his practices yet...except for later today we will (he said its ok).

Just, you assumed correct.
I sat here this morning picturing in my mind how it would be if he was home. It was possible that he could attend school here but, His decision was that he wnted to be far enough away to "be on his own". It's still within driving distance but, We do not see him except for breaks.(Its a 5 hr drive)
At this time I think it has been good for him and he likes it even though he longs for a family meal once and a while.

Sark,
My son is 8 hours away....and I hate it...takes one full day to get there and one to return...cannot get there if he needed us ASAP and this is what has bothered me the most since he started going there...this year add in the fact that he has his car on campus and I am a Prozac candidate...hubby has had BB withdrawl and sits at the computer during the season waiting for the results to be posted...he had numerous advantages to go locally but opted for this school...he is happy(which I know is important)...we are not

Great topic for college in general! My nephews had a chance to go out-of-state. Although they stayed and attended in-state institutions. I have wondered given the oportunity which schools I would pick for my sons. You folks have pursuaded me to select in-state or closer schools.

Mary

...as you know, the "going away" leads to growing by your son......imagine if you were
always hovering, unable to let go! He has absolute confidence that you are always in his heart. His choice to go away allows him to take care of the "details" and mature as a young man who will have you to thank for the space you've given him to find his way....

I think you really need to let your son decide on this issue. This is one of those strictly personal issues.

Going far away from home was the best thing that could have happened to me when I was that age (that was may moons ago of course).

As for my son, he is much more content staying closer. He had actualy planned to go farther away, and was kept closer by circumstances. He nows says he is really glad he didn't go that far away (he ended up 4-5 hours away)

Our sophomore is 7 hours away. It's hard on Mom but when the opportunity came for him to go there was no hesitation on his part.

One thing to add to the list of pros and cons is how many of the players are local. On our son's team about half are out of state players. It may be more difficult if you're the only one from out of the area.

quote:

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Going far away from home was the best thing that could have happened to me when I was that age (that was may moons ago of course).

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The very fact that you refer to it in "moons" does tend to date you somewhat.

Son is 1 hr away from home at D1. 5 minutes away from husbands office. We feel it's the best of both worlds. He's having the "living on his own" experience, can "pop" in for a good meal here and there, and WE GET TO SEE HIM PLAY.

Neither decision is right or wrong--our sons(daughters) will adapt to the situation they have chosen or transfer to another school if it becomes unbearable, but it sure does make it nice to have them closer to home when you
want to see some games/practices. Our oldest is 75 miles away-far enough to
be on his own but close enough in case he wants to come home for the weekend.

Part of the joy??? of raising children is being able to share in their successes
after they fly the coop as well as being there for them when they certainly will
have some failures.

Sark, We have a freshman at local state d-1 school.Although we toured many other schools he finally chose the school closest to home and we could not be more pleased.He comes home a day on most weekends and does the laundry /home meal bit and calls every other day.The guys on his team seem to be great kids and alot of the freshmen class were kids whom he competed with in high school and now we are rooting for the same team.Pretty neat exchanging stories and perceptions with our new friends about big games in years past.Because I believe my son to be little bit of a mama's boy this seems like the perfect fit.

I agree that the choice is dependent on each student. I posted above about my 04 who strongly preferred to stay close to home, but my 06 now has his heart set on a school in Boston. I don't know how many hours by car, but since it's a plane ride away from Minnesota, he definitely could not come home often. Catchermom03, you may need to adopt him if he ends up there. I would be sad if he was far away, but would tend to let him make his own choice. My husband is against it so far and says please try to find a similar program that's closer, but nothing comparable seems to exist. (Not sports, it's a specific music program at Berklee in Boston.) I think it would be especially difficult for mom and dad because he would be the last to leave the nest, but he's an independent kid who has always tended to make independent choices.

Good question. Being selfish I wish he was home at our local DII which has a great baseball program (ranked as high as #2 in nation). Coach didn’t even call. We found out later that he would have loved to have him but heard he was going DI so why waste a local call . Not much else to choose from in CO. Air Force and UNC only DI’s in state.

Looking at the larger picture, he is having some experiences and opportunities that he would never have dreamed of if he would have stayed home. Including playing at the Cape this past summer (which provided even more life experiences ). He was always more mature than others his age so it was easier to let him go.

Overall, even though he miss’ us watching him play, I’m sure he wouldn’t change a thing.

Frank

Location is only one factor in matching a player with a college. Distance can be a major factor or it can be a non-issue, depends on the player and his family. As in selecting anything we MAY have to go to another city or another state to find what we (he) wants or needs. A college is no different.
Son is about 6 ½ hours away. Very satisfied with the way things have turned out.

Pros and cons.

The college- Great school in the SEC and is rated as the number one baseball facilities in the nation.
The fit- Son was a multiple position player and this school has allowed him to play all positions including pitch.
Distance of 6 ½ hours - He likes the geographic separation, but I personally would like it if the college were closer to our home, say 3 hours or less. Since his girlfriend of 4 years is going to college in Memphis (90 miles from our home), he wants to go to Memphis for weekends too. That is a reoccurring issue from time to time but has only happened one time.
Internet and TV availability- A big plus for the "away" player's family. For us it gives us the ability to listen to weekday games on the internet plus many of their games are shown on CSS.
Players are forced to make decisions by going away from home. I think this helps in the maturing process too. I also sense the bond between players is stronger because they have left friends and family and have to start a “new” group of friends and the other players are always available.
Fungo

For me it was not about location but about my son being happy

For me it was not about me being able to see him play --it was about him being where he could play

I can say all this well after the fact- the last one graduated in 1999-- they are all happy and successful--

When our son signed early with a JC 5 hours away prior to his Sr. season, he thought that he would FINALLY be far enough away from his parents.

After completing his senior season he realized that 5 hours was not FAR ENOUGH away from us so he signed pro to get as far away as possible just as soon as he could.

OPP