I think this question deals more with parenting than baseball itself, but I'm curious to see what everyone thinks. My son did not make the hs team. There were 80 or so freshman trying out. He made the first cut, but in the end it was him and a few other catchers. They chose two guys with pop times of 2.0 and 2.1. Pretty incredible for freshmen I thought. My son had a 2.3. The other guys threw in the high 70's and one guy broke 80 mph. My son threw 68mph. I had been warning him for months that this school has a very competitive baseball program and that he must assume there will be players better than him, but he really didn't listen. He's used to being told how good he is and I think he got cocky. He was only a catcher for one season and he had never really practiced pop time. There's only so much I can do myself. I really don't have time to take him down to a field and practice with him, not to mention the fact that I'm kinda scared to stand at 2nd base and receive his throws. Maybe in full body armor I wouldn't mind . I've bought him books and dvds, but he really wasn't too interested. Now he's learned the hard way. He's incredibly disappointed. The head coach spoke with him after the cuts and told him this was an unusual year with so many extremely talented freshman. He told him that if he had just been a little better he would have made it. I thought my son was doing more to prepare. I set up a net and a tee in our garage, but he's only done that sporadically. I signed him up for a weekly winter hitting/conditioning clinic, but he blew that off quite a few times to hang out with friends. Needless to say, that ****ed me off.

I don't understand him. He's loved baseball since he was just a little guy and he claims that it's all he wants to do with his life. When he's on a team he's totally into it. He could practice and play day and night every day and he would be thrilled, but when he's on his own he shows no motivation. Do you think that that passion really has to come from within or, as a parent, would you push this kid? I've never been one to make a kid do something he didn't want to, as far as athletics or activities are concerned, but this is getting to me because I don't know if he just needs a kick in the butt or if he really does lack the passion. When I ask him he says he doesn't know. I'm really curious to know how other kids are. Do your guys work and work at it without being told or do you have to push them? Do they love the game so much that they're willing to sacrifice friends and video games to practice on their own? Thanks!

You cannot teach the "passion" for the game---it has to come from within the player---all kids play LL because that is the "thing" to do---after that many kids find other things to do

Yes, thank you, I am aware of that. I know you can't teach or force a passion upon someone. Maybe I should have phrased it differently. I'm talking more about motivation I guess. If my son played LL just cause it was the thing to do then I wouldn't be thinking twice about this. I wish it was that simple.

Look at Mickey Mantle, for instance. I am not comparing my kid to him in anyway, but look at what Mantle's father did with him. Everyday after school there was mandatory bp. I'm assuming you know this, but just in case I'll say it anyway. Everyday the father and grandfather, I believe, took turns pitching lefty and righty to him while he switch hit. When I first heard about that I thought this father was the biggest ***, forcing the kid to do that every day, but look at the result. Then when Mickey was on his way home crying after his first unsuccessful experience in the big leagues it was his dad who gave him a kick in the pants which led to or contributed to Mantle's turn around. That's what I'm struggling with.

Why don't you try asking him if he would like to be pushed by you. Some kids need to have it explained to them that they won't improve witout hard work. I explain to my boys that if they want to advance they need to work hard and often, and if they really want to do well I will help them, but it won't be easy. Both of my boys accept it better that way. They never complain about working when I remind them or push them a little, but they won't always do things on there own.

The problem today is that kids won't practice on their own, at least most of them---too many other things to do

quote:

play day and night

The key word is PLAY. He may be too immature to realiz
e the hard work required to play at a high level. I would stop doing things for him until he shows some self motivation.
many kids that are told they are good early don't put the effort in until they have to. Hopefully this may trigger a wake up call.
At this point it seems you want it more than he does.

Yeah, I've had that talk with him. Told him I would not force anything upon him, but it takes hard work and I'd be there to push him if he wanted it or needed it. He was responsive to that. Maybe I haven't done enough or maybe I've expected too much. TR is right, I think there are too many distractions today. It's hard for me to get on a ball field with him now since he's bigger and stronger and I'm a small woman. He gets frustrated because he can't throw hard to me. Last time he did I misjudged and it hit me in the face and my nose started bleeding. He felt so bad, poor kid. I have yet to find any quality instructors in our area who I could hire to work with him and I really don't know what else to do to enable him to get the practice he needs. Oh well, just have to keep looking I suppose. As long as I know I'm not being a psycho parent by pushing this, I'll keep at it.

Thanks for your feedback.

bobble head-

You make some great points. I'm waiting to see if this serves as a wake up call for him. That will be very telling. If it doesn't, then I will stop worrying because it's up to him at that point.

In regards to me wanting it more than him, yes I have questioned myself on that and done some serious soul searching. I do not believe that's the case. I love baseball and I love seeing my kid excel, but I just want him to be happy while knowing that I have given him all the tools and opportunities to succeed. It doesn't bother me personally that he's not on the hs team, it bothers me that he wanted something so bad and didn't put in the effort.

Isj18 - I think the answer to your questions will come soon enough. Sure he's disappointed he didn't make it this year. Every kid would be. But how will your son respond to it? Does he get mad, go out and bust his butt to make sure it doesn't happen next year or does he move on?

You're right Beezer, you're absolutely right. I need to just chill for now and see how responds. If this is truly what he wants in life he'll have to help make it happen.

Regarding Mantle, IMO that didn't work out for the best in the big scheme of things. It is unlikely he enjoyed the game as much as those watching him thought. If this is something your boy decides he truly wants he must demonstrate that to you thru his actions. I may have misunderstood but did he blame you for his failure ? If so, the attitude adjustment starts there. All you can and should provide is encouragement and opportunity within your means. Here's hoping he discovers what makes him happy and pursues it.

Does he play for a summer team?

That's a lot of kids trying out for a freshman team! Makes it real tough for the late bloomers who may be playing more than one sport to compete. If he keeps working out and plays summer ball you might be able to compare him to the kids that made the cut and form a plan for next year if he still wants to play. Other options would be to change positions or schools, depends on how important this is to you and your son. Good luck!

When things calm down talk to him about goals. If he wants to play next year/summer ball help him walk thru what he needs to start doing now to improve his game and document it - make a day by day calendar and have him follow it.

My son actually asked me to push him so I did - not crazy or anything - I just pointed to his goals and he would put down the XBox controller and do what he committed to.

First year of HS is tough - the social life starts to kick in and those girls are cute.

He will have one problem next year that you should be aware of. The guys that made the team now have 1 year experience over your son. He will have to really make a good showing to out weigh the experience issue.

Good luck and hopefully he is playing ball again.

Just had another thought - if he wants to continue playing ball - have him appraoch the coach and see if he could help the team in anyway - catching pens or whatever - I would guess just the offer would be impressive to the coach.

If I'm the coach that last piece of advise goes a long way. I woudl be honored to have a young man with those kind of stones around my team. I knew a guy once who was fired from a sales job for lack of performance. He knew he could do better and he also knew he could learn a lot from being around a particular sales manager who fired him. He asked if he could be allowed to stay around and attend meetings and training classes with the others even though he was not technically employed. It was allowed and he soon began producing. He was fired, found a window back in and basically just never left. May not pertain here, but a good story aboout persistence none the less. True story too.

Thanks guys, you've all provided great advice. We had a long talk last night, yet again, and he was finally able to express some thoughts. He definitely doesn't blame me. He's not like that, he's a great kid. I think he was embarassed and shocked more than anything. He says he's ready to work hard now because he wants to play ball more than anything else so we'll see...

Another challenge he has is that he skipped a grade when he was in grammar school so he's a year or more younger than most these guys. I think he really does understand now that he has some hard work ahead of him. He is a bit distracted by the girls though ! He's going to play on a club team for the spring and then try out for the hs summer team so we'll see what happens there. That is awesome advice, catcher09, about asking the coach if he could help out at all. I will definitely suggest that to him. The head coach seems like a really cool guy so hopefully that's something that could work out.

Thanks again everyone, I really appreciate your insights.

Keep us updated. I have a feeling things will turn out great. I can understand his frustration but remember M. Jordan was cut from his freshman basketball team. They didnt think he was very good. About a billion dollars later......

Thanks for the encouraging words. I didn't know that about MJ. That's pretty incredible. I know Ryan Howard was overlooked by high school and college coaches. He got into the majors as a walk on. It just goes to show you should never give up. I appreciate your interest and I will keep you posted.

ISJ18 I sent you a PM