I have an on going argument with my wife. She thinks my son and I are nuts for playing full time travel ball. He has big dreams just as a lot of 12 year old boys. He absolutely loves the game and my arm is really sore from pitching so much to him and doing long toss

My contention is that he needs to play at a high level or risk falling too far behind. Especially in terms of hitting. He also needs to play at the speed of the game at higher competition levels.

Her contention is that it is too much and that he should just play really lame in-house. Trust me when I tell you they could never catch a throw across the field from him. They told my daughter not to throw her hardest which is how all this travel stuff started in my family. My wife says he can really start working when he gets to high school. The public HS ball in MD is not very good in general with some exceptions.

I tell her that if he has any prayer to play after HS that he needs to start now so he might get in to a private school locally with a good track record.

Any and all thoughts are appreciated. Sure wish it was like when I grew up and we all played little league! The entire town! No S****r!!!


Bill

Don't burn him out---do it if he TRULY wants it--not YOU !!!!!

Bill-
I can only speak for my son and how playing at a high level has helped his game. He currently is 14 and won't even start HS until next year so all bets are off next year. But...

Right now he is playing at as high of level available to us. It takes tons of committment, sacrifice, and hard work. Not just from him, but for the whole family. He has been doing this for 18 months. Prior to that he played rec at 9-11 and joined a local "travel team" until he was 13. Each level took adjustment and hard work but he grew in the process. The game got quicker and the kids got better. He had to sink or swim. Told us a lot about what he was made of. I wouldn't trade any of it nor would I have done anything different. Neither would he. He has loved every step, change, and challenge along the way.

As for HS? Who knows? But I can tell you he will be more prepared than any other Freshman that will step on that field. He will have had more opportunities and experiences than any other Freshman. He has to earn a spot just like any other player but I know that he has done everything in his power to make HS baseball a reality.

The highest level that challenges a player to get better is immeasurable. I believe that the most amount of growth takes place when you are stretched beyond your comfort zone.

Just my inexperienced two cents...

HI TRHit,

I could not agree more. When he stops smiling and waking up early because of the excitement, I will know it is too much.

He loves putting on his uniform and makes sure it is just right.

Bill

Bill,
At 12 my player played with 12 year olds, but always played "up" in league play. I don't beleive this made a big difference in where he is today because most of those players didn't make it beyond HS and I live in a state where there is much talent. But that's my opinion. What really did matter was when he reached HS. That's when a strong fall travel team and summer team become important.

Your son can have big dreams, that doesn't mean you have to play baseball 24/7 for 6-7 years until end of HS.

I've never felt the level of competition relative to developing into a high school and college player, is that important at age twelve. It starts to become important when kids hit the full size field at thirteen. When they hit the big field they should play against the best competition they can handle. Some thirteen year olds need a year of physical development to handle the big field.

I've seen way too many 12U and under studs fall on their faces on the big field. They starred on the smaller fields by being early bloomers. They outmuscled and/or out ran the small field.

RJM.

Agree. many parents confuse advance maturity with advance talent....get to the bigger field and when everyone turns 16 and talent begins to show...

Bill L good question. Parents of the better players are almost “forced” to play on something other than the local rec team. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad but it’s the parents’ way of thinking that has perpetuated the travel ball explosion. I think it’s a nasty cycle. MANY parents think their child is “better” than the “average” player and DESERVES better than what the “local” ball teams can offer. There are not enough travel teams to accommodate these parents so they form another travel team. This weakens the recreational baseball to where local competition is hard to find unless one does go to a travel team. The ugly truth of this ----- the explosion of travel teams has diluted the talent to where many of these teams are little more than a recreational team with expensive uniforms, high dollar bats that play other “travel” teams in the same situation. I think we should ignore the “labels” of travel teams, select teams and recreational teams. Let’s seek out a team that matches our son’s talent to where he can compete, grow and enjoy the game. If your son’s talent is more advanced then look at moving your son up an age bracket if he can compete. I put my son on a 13u travel team when he was 11, not so he could play high school baseball but so he could compete and enjoy the game. At 15 he was on an 18u team that played the best teams in the country because that’s where he fit.
On the poor quality of MD high school baseball ---- I don’t think I would send my son to a private high school JUST so he could play baseball for a better team. This is just another (more expensive) version of “parental juggling” that goes on in the rec/travel ball arena. If your son kept his talent at his designated high school maybe they would have a better team. Academics may be another issue.
Fungo

Bill - I think your take on the situation is right with respect to travel ball. The key is your son loves it and his enthusiasm sounds similar to mine in that regard.

I agree with Fungo that changing high schools is probably not worth the cost in social disruption to the child.

I hesitate to say that one level of baseball is "better" than any other. I prefer to find the level of baseball that is the best fit for my sons, both athletically and socially.

If your son has a higher level of ability than most of the players around him, then it's not going to be fun or developmental to stay in the level where the other kids can't do or don't know what to do on the field.

So maybe moving to a "higher" level will help him be a better ballplayer or maybe just simply be more fun.

As for high school, we felt fortunate to have a choice in high schools. We went for what we perceived to be a better fit in terms of academics and environment. Baseball was third on our list of priorities. As it turns out, we're also very happy with the baseball program.

Even if the HS baseball stinks, he's getting a good education, he's in a safe environment and he'll play more games in front of more coaches and scouts with his summer team anyway.

I believe you have to find the best fit for your son and your family. Don't worry about everyone telling you that you're wrong and don't fuel them by telling them they're wrong.

We also have a self-check built in.

Every once in a while we ask him...

"Son, are we pushing you too much?"

So far the answer is always NO! with a big smile.

Thanks for all the responses.

Just a little update. A few weeks ago he had to leave a tournament early because his mom was making him go to a social at school.

We were in the middle of a great game and he was looking over at me saying I do not want to leave. I made him leave anyway to keep his mom happy. he was crying and saying how much he did not want to leave and that he was letting his teammates down. I think given all this that his Mom may finally realize that it is not my dream but it is indeed his and that he loves playing ball.

Then just two weeks ago he was blessed with being able to play on a really top tier travel team that is nationally ranked. He had a total blast! When we got home I asked him to take a shower and his response was, "no daddy I do not want to wash off the baseball dirt" He wears that team cap everywhere he goes.

I say all this to reinforce how important it is for them to have fun.

I agree with all you said biggerpapi

Great story Bill. Sounds like your son loves the game and plays well enough to justify playing at a higher level.

I also agree that it all depends on the kid. A quick story of two kids. My son plays at a very high level and is seen by parents and teammates as the top dog on the team. He loves the game. He would rather be playing baseball against the top teams in the state than doing anything else.

One of his teammates last year was miserable. He was probably the 11th or 12th guy on the team and created a lot of problems with his attitude. He was ready to quit baseball altogether. In the spring he decided he missed baseball and decided to play rec ball. I gave him a ride home the other day and asked him how it was going. He proceded to tell me that he loved it. He was the starting shortstop, #1 pitcher and the #4 batter. He said he forgot how much fun baseball could be and said "now I see why Sean likes playing so much". It was really pretty cool.

Point is, both guys love baseball, just at their own level. Our teammate was not happy at a level too high for him, and I think my son would not be happy if the challenge was not enough. If you try to push your kid to play at too high of a level, they may wind up hating the game. Keep them where they will be successful, yet challenged and they will be happy.

quote:

Keep them where they will be successful, yet challenged and they will be happy.

Perfect!

I don't know if there is one approach that works better than the rest because all kids are different.

The approach that I am trying to use with my two boys regarding any youth sport is to not let my interest level be higher than theirs. Outside of team practices and games, I let them dictate how much or how little extra time is spent preparing.

My older son was asked to play in a couple tourneys with a higher classified team and I just passed it along to him and let him make the call. Now, I really was excited about that opportunity for him but didn't influence his decision. He decided to play, had a great time with no pressures from Dad.