Sounds like a normal 14yo. I can remember Mark Cresse talking about how he had to push his son Brad, who ended up playing pro ball, to get out and practice at times.

This thread has really hit a chord with me. My junior son started dropping hints in 8th grade that he didn't want to play high school baseball. He had been playing travel ball since he was 8. I was crushed. But I knew I couldn't push it. So he quit baseball to play basketball year round. I think 7 years of travel ball just burned him out. He had also taken private lessons and did speed training in the off-season.

This year he has decided he wants to try baseball again. I don't know how successful he will be but I am truly doing a inside because he is enjoying the game again.

So my only advise is to keep it fun and let him figure it out on his own... trust me he will!

Strike 3 Are you sure you and your son are not me and my son 10 years ago?
I would venture to say many talented players and their parents face this same dilemma in one way or another. You see a talented young baseball player with a bright future and he’s acting like a kid about it. I don’t think you should allow him to do whatever he wants to do. After all you should know what’s best for him at this age. I strongly suggest you stay involved. I think he will thank you for your involvement later on, my son did --- and continues to do so. Here’s the way I handled it. I bit my tongue and told myself I was going to do everything I could to help him in spite of what he did. This meant I would continue to help him by providing those things I felt were necessary for him to improve. Many times I MADE myself provided him with POSITIVE input when what I really wanted to do was burn his glove and bats. One of the things I did was give him options like: “Are you going to cut the grass or hit baseballs today. The “normalization” of your son is a process that takes time. You can’t force it ---- you have to “guide” it. As he matures he will need less (and accept less) guidance. I think that is what gives parents white hair.
The video games also mirror my son’s activities during this period. I think it is their competitiveness that attracts them to the video games. You can limit the time if it gets excessive but again you can do it in a positive way. I suggest you join in and “share” the video games with your son. They are a lot of fun and playing them with your son will allow you to talk to him about the video games, time management, the pros and cons of what he’s doing without being looked at as being “totally” out of touch. .

I disagree with the following paragraph. It sounds as if you’re thinking about giving up on him.

quote:

I feel right now I should make a firm stand with him and tell him I am ceasing all financial support of his training until he shows me an improved work ethic that justifies my time and money as I don't feel at this point I'm getting my money's worth. I also feel I should tell him that it is now up to him to advise me what his training plans are and when he needs me to take him to the training facility, etc... so I can schedule my time accordingly. if he doesn't give me a plan or schedule, then I won't bring it up.

Stay positive and things WILL get better. Don't sacrafice the parent/son relationship over a game.
Fungo

RE: Video Games ...

At least they're baseball and basketball video games. My son may be a budding GM. I watch with fascination from a distance as he does with the video games what I once did with Strat-O-Matic. He builds teams, plays seasons, has expansion drafts, builds teams, etc, etc, etc. The difference is I had to play out the entire season with dice. He sets the game on autoplay until the trading deadline and then until the pennant race.

I just bought all my kids a Nitendo Wii.

My son flies into Buffalo (maybe) on Sunday and that is the only thing he asked for. We told him they were all sold out and impossible to get. People are paying twice the asking price for them on the net.
They are great and require skill and hand eye coordination.
As long as his grades are kept up which he has always done, I don't feel the need to interfere with his activities.

I continue to appreciate the replies. Fungo's reply has given me some points to ponder as I struggle with what to do as a parent. I like the motivating questions presented. That could work for us.

My son is definitely not burned out. He loves playing the game and wants nothing to do with other sports.

I appreciate all of the advice and comments. I know all of us as parents want our children to succeed and realize their potential. It's difficult sometimes to let them learn the hard way.

quote:

Originally posted by BobbleheadDoll:
I just bought all my kids a Nitendo Wii.

COngratulations on finding one! Tough to get!

We got 3 and at a discount.

Once he hits high school the competitiveness will take over with the other boys.

He hasn't had to compete too much yet, but he will soon.

quote:

by bbhddl: My son flies into Buffalo (maybe) on Sunday

ya may want the 4wd suv to pick him up also stow the tire chains

quote:

My son is definitely not burned out. He loves playing the game and wants nothing to do with other sports.

Great posts everybody, Boy this brings back memories.

S3, One thing I pointed out to my son at about age 15.
Don't live with Regrets.
Don't be the Guy that looks back and says, If I only would of done this??
Living in Glory Days instead of trying to be the BEST you can be.
If your The Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda Guy.
You will Have regrets later in life.

Give it your all, You can live with that outcome.

JMO
EH

We went thru the same with our oldest. All kinds of skills but no desire to work on them to get better. We didn't push, just kinda let the competition slap him in the face with a little dose of reality.While younger brother was working on his skills with Dad, older brother found girls,computer *IM*,and just about anything else but trying to get better.

I would've liked to have held a gun to his head everytime we left the house to go train, but I didn't. Actually acted as if it didn't matter if he wanted to come or not.He knew the end result, we have a saying we like to use around here "if your not trying to get better, what are you getting" Enlightenment was the key for him,struggling with command, getting hit around the yard,more hit batsmen than ever.Then we took him to go see the older boys play. And boy they were good, and boy did it open his eyes up. For the next two weeks straight it was every day dad can we work onthis, dad can we work on that.And from that moment he hasn't looked back. He is very driven and somehow I knew he would come around, but I also knew I could't demand it or push it. might've helped a little that younger brother was staring to taste some of the success he had when he was his age too!

Don't push your son strike 3 sounds like he has it in him, and he'll find a way to get it back too.

quote:

Originally posted by FormerObserver:
Once he hits high school the competitiveness will take over with the other boys.

He hasn't had to compete too much yet, but he will soon.

Bingo! He hasn't even begun to feel competitive pressures. No one really learns from success. Struggling a bit trying to keep up with the big kids will force him to adjust, improve and WORK for success. It is way too early to even suggest considering pulling the plug on support, encouragement and sharing a game and hobby you both enjoy. The fun has just begun. Trust me.

I was hoping to see StarDad's input on this topic.

There are some good responses, otherwise.

quote:

Originally posted by Strike 3:
I know all of us as parents want our children to succeed and realize their potential. It's difficult sometimes to let them learn the hard way.

Don't forget baseball is only a game. It's his game. You've had your turn. There are a lot more important things to push him on (grades, personal conduct, etc.).

My Cement analogy,
First you have this dry, dusty, dirty powder you add water and now you have a gloppy,gunky clump of amorphous slime (read Teenager).
You want to have a path to success. You provide form and time, without either you have a functionless block.
At some point the forms come off and with proper preparation a path to success has been built.
Now with a 14 yr old the forms are in place but the mix hasn't set yet.
Provide opportunity and time everything should come into place. The path should become their own.
You have to gage what success means to the subject BEFORE providing form. If there's no agreement on the goal there will be no path, only frustration. Once agreed upon a reminder of what the goals are and what needs to be done should be sufficient to keep to the form. If not then back to the goal assesment.
You can't all together let go, because, at this point, there has to be some forms in place. BE PATIENT!
Rollerman

quote:

Originally posted by Strike 3:
I continue to appreciate the replies. Fungo's reply has given me some points to ponder as I struggle with what to do as a parent. I like the motivating questions presented. That could work for us.

My son is definitely not burned out. He loves playing the game and wants nothing to do with other sports.

I appreciate all of the advice and comments. I know all of us as parents want our children to succeed and realize their potential. It's difficult sometimes to let them learn the hard way.

When my daughter was young we paid for piano lessons and she never practiced, so I pulled the plug, I felt the same as you did. The only difference was I didn't see it the way you did, I never thought that she owed me back anything. That's what confuses me, are you doing this for him or you?
I agree with Fungo, remain positive. If your son is as good as you claim he is, maybe he doesn't need all of this stuff at 14. Mine didn't begin that stuff at 16 when we felt he was ready for it, physically and emotionally. Sometimes all that stuff takes the "fun" out of the game. You want him to make a commitment at 14 when half the adults that I know can't make commitments?

We all have gone through it in some form or another. My son's lack of not wanting to go to tournaments, showcases and play 24/7 around the clock could be looked upon as disinterest by some but we never looked at it that way. It certainly didn't hurt him.

My son, at 22 is also into his video games, but he is an adult and can set his priorities without interference from his folks. Sometimes younger ones need that guidance. When son was younger we put limits on video game time as well as anything else that seemd to be in excess. I find it funny that some parents never limit baseball or other sports especially when they cut into grades. Sports comes first for many.

Sit down with your son, ask him what he wants to do not what you think he should do. Maybe he wants a break from all the other stuff that comes with baseball and just wants to play.

quote:

I find it funny that some parents never limit baseball or other sports especially when they cut into grades.

If a kid gets a C in math and hits .250 on his travel team, I wonder how many dads hire a math tutor versus a hitting instructor.

I'm betting on the hitting instructor with dad supervising in between tee work. The kid is told to do better in math next time.

quote:

Originally posted by Tiger Paw Mom:
When my daughter was young we paid for piano lessons and she never practiced, so I pulled the plug, I felt the same as you did. The only difference was I didn't see it the way you did, I never thought that she owed me back anything. That's what confuses me, are you doing this for him or you?

My only expectations are that if I'm spending money on lessons and other training, that the money is not wasted. Therefore, I expect the work to be put in. Since he's the one telling me he wants the lessons so he can get better, I expect him to do what is asked of him by his instructor(s).

Like I said before, if he doesn't want it, that's fine. The only benefit I get out of this is knowing that I did everything I could to help my son use and improve the talent he has already exhibited. If he chooses not to apply himself then there's not much I can really do.

quote:

Originally posted by RJM:

quote:

I find it funny that some parents never limit baseball or other sports especially when they cut into grades.

If a kid gets a C in math and hits .250 on his travel team, I wonder how many dads hire a math tutor versus a hitting instructor.

I'm betting on the hitting instructor with dad supervising in between tee work. The kid is told to do better in math next time.

If my son wasn't getting the grades he's capable of he wouldn't be playing baseball or video games. I agree with your point though.