How can I get my 12 year old son to keep a positive attitude? When he's "on" - it's great. He's had 11 strike outs in a game, but his team lost. He still kept his composure. Fast forward to next game; batters hit off him like crazy, he strikes out or pops up a ball at bat. The shoulders slump, that look of defeat in his eyes, some tears. It's soo frustrating as a parent. He loves the game, the team, the coaches. He's just way too hard on himself. I'd read everything I can get my hands on about positive coaching and "it's just a game". Any advice would be appreciated.

Have him turn 13. Sounds like a maturity issue that will be alleviated as he gets older. Part of the problem is that people get too caught up in the results instead of the process. Make sure he understands that 12 year old baseball is just the start of his baseball career. Emphasize improvement and development over results.

Hi, hartbreakerr. Try not to worry too much - I know it's hard to watch them struggle like that, and I don't think there's anything you can do except be supportive and patient, don't worry about what the other parents might be thinking, and let him work out of it on his own. A lot of it is plain old growing up. Your son will probably learn to deal with those emotions in time.

Mine was the same way when he was 12. Now headed toward 15 this summer, he's still a perfectionist, and still very very hard on himself. But with maturity, coaches who believed in him, and the example of some very fine older players, he's learned to focus on the field and on the task at hand instead of dwelling on what happened a minute ago.

If you don't already have one, get yourself a copy of The Mental Game of Baseball. It has some good tools for putting things into perspective, and will help you get through this, if not your son. With time, he should be just fine.

Edit - and what ncball says.

Yay! He'll be 13 next month! lol Unfortunately I think he's a late bloomer in the maturity department. I just don't know what to do or say when I see him pouting on the bench. Sometimes I want to yell at him to put his big boy pants on and suck it up and other times I just want to give him a big hug. He's definitely gotten better over the past few years. In the past he's thrown a helmet or two when he struck out. I did not tolerate that at all. I just can't seem to get through to him that everything will be okay. What's your take on bribes? lol

When 2B was 11, he had a temper tantrum on the mound, jumping up and down, because he wasn't getting any calls. I threatened to videotape the next one and send it to America's Funniest Videos! He never did that again. That was his worst season in terms of maturity. He was kept off the all-star team that year because of his attitude. The next year, the coach would sit him at the slightest hint of attitude. That helped a lot, because he wanted more than anything to be on the field.

Patience is the key for you. The coaches can help with the rest. I say give him that hug! He'll be fine.

Just took out a bunch of stuff because it's irrelevant. Regardless, good luck!

Maturity could be the issue, but could it be that junior is an over-achiever? One who expects to do well all the time. My daughter is a little like that. She doesn't show it in public, but frequently breaks down into tears around me and mommy.

I don't think he's an over-achiever. He struggles in school. It's mostly wanting the win everything attitude. He'll also pout if he loses a board game. I wish he would save the tears for just he and I. I just don't want him to get a reputation as a hot head.