How as a coach of a U10 team would you deal with the following; One player chose to play with another team for his house league playoffs and missed a regular season travel game. it is now tournament time, house league playoffs are over and he is back practicing with the travel team. Would you sit him the first game (I plan to) ? BTW, four other players had the same choice and went with the travel team rather than house playoffs.

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Would you sit him the first game (I plan to) ?

Yankee - seems odd that you ask the question if you already know the answer.

Since you asked... much ado about nothing imho... he missed one game that has nothing to do with the grand scheme of things...

Sitting the youngster to prove a point about committment seems draconian to me. These are 10 year olds. Perhaps the young lad was torn about not helping his house league team in the playoffs. Perhaps he is not mature enough at 10 years old to make a "mature" decision. Perhaps there was no right or wrong decision. I don't think he is ready to learn the lesson you are trying to teach imho. Of course, I don't have all the information that you do either. Looking back on my son's experience, there were way too many people who took things way too seriously. Let all the kids play and have fun. That is the most important thing.

CD, I posed the question for opinions... you had one...thanks... while we are at it, darn little has anything to do with "the grand scheme of things" Is ten really too young to learn their choices effect others ?

What if Dad or Mom chose for him? Do you punish him if the parents made him play in the house league playoffs? I am always making my kids do things they don't like

Bench him, then punch his mother in the face. That should send a message to rest of those ungrateful kids and parents.

Sounds to me like the "player" knows what commitment is. "He" chose to help his house team in the PLAYOFFS and missed a REGULAR season game with the travel team. My 14yr old made the same decision this year and his travel coach was just fine with it.
Oh and he is old enough to make that decision and if he had to sit a game with his travel team he was ok with it. Do you really think a 10yr old understands what you are doing? If you think they do then you probably have long talks with your team after a game too. Cleveland dad is right let them have fun at 10! It only gets harder in the HS age teams.

At 10 it would seem that some players are playing travel ball as well as in their local league. There are so many variables that it would be difficult for an outsider to make judgement on this issue.

Did the travel team set ground rules for the families before the season started?

How many players are on the travel team?

Did the player play on the house team before he was recruited to the travel team?

Is there a precedent for this travel team?

Did the family of said player give the coach plenty of notice about a possible conflict?

Also, I can see where a player on a travel team may be one of the best players on his house team. There may be a certain level of guilt and/or pressure if he were to miss the house game and let down his friends or classmates. That can be a lot for a 10 year-old to have to deal with.

3BD, would your son have made that choice if he knew it was leaving the other team short ? My guess is that he discussed his options with the coach and got his ok. For your information, we have the long talk after wind sprints

quote:

Originally posted by RETIRED GM:
At 10 it would seem that some players are playing travel ball as well as in their local league. There are so many variables that it would be difficult for an outsider to make judgement on this issue.

Did the travel team set ground rules for the families before the season started? yes

How many players are on the travel team? his abscence left 9
Did the player play on the house team before he was recruited to the travel team? no

Is there a precedent for this travel team? yes
Did the family of said player give the coach plenty of notice about a possible conflict? player notified me the night before
Also, I can see where a player on a travel team may be one of the best players on his house team. There may be a certain level of guilt and/or pressure if he were to miss the house game and let down his friends or classmates. That can be a lot for a 10 year-old to have to deal with.

Thanks for your insight. I guess the last issue is where I have the real problem. 4 other players wrestled with the same issue. If I do nothing what message is sent to them ?

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Originally posted by Yankeelvr:
Thanks for your insight. I guess the last issue is where I have the real problem. 4 other players wrestled with the same issue. If I do nothing what message is sent to them ?

If I am understanding correctly....the player called the night before, left you with only nine players and there were team rules in place about this. Four others chose to stay with your team or else you would have to forfeit.

IMO he needs to benched for the start of the next game for at least two innings. Talk to the team as a group about team responsibilities so everyone can get something positive out of this. Try not to embarass the player but make sure they all understand how the actions of one can effect the entire team and that had just one other player chosen the same route what the oucome would have been.

To me, it's too late to be asking this question.

This is a decision the coaches running the team have to make before they start recruiting players. Then you communicate the team policy and make it clear what is expected of players who choose to seek roster spots.

If they later disregard the commitment, you absolutely must impose some sort of penalty. Otherwise, you can look forward to everyone else on the team doing it to you down the road, and likewise expecting no consequences.

Now, if you didn't make your expecations clear in advance, I don't think you can first recruit players and then change the rules on them mid-stream. If you allowed them to believe they could miss on occasion for other games, other teams, piano recitals, or whatever, then you have to live with this.

Illness, true emergencies, key religious events (but not just a church-related social activity), I don't think you should take issue with. But "I just thought something else would be more fun for me", you can't let that go on. That's a kid putting his momentary desires ahead of his team.

I will say this: To me the reason why he missed is unimportant. Coaches regularly get upset about a kid missing to play for another team, but they let things like attending birthday parties or going to King's Dominion slide. Why? Are you upset that he missed the game, or just because it feels like he's cheating on you with another coach?

I don't mind kids playing on multiple teams (as long as they aren't trying to pitch several times a week). What they do outside of team events is their business. But if you expect this kind of thing not to happen in the future, you have to tell people when you are organizing for each year what your expectations are and that there will be consequences for not meeting the commitment required.

The lesson here is for you, not him. It's the time of year when you're finishing up one cycle and starting up the next one. Articulate what you will require of players and make sure they all commit to what you require, or else thank them for their interest but tell them this team's not for them, then keep recruiting until you get the roster you want.

It is about time we stop coddling the kids of today---let them learn responsibility---if he were on my team he would no longer be on the roster--you cannot let kids/parents walk over you as a coach---you bring him back and what does tell the other kids who stayed with you---POPPYCOCK--sitting him is a minimal punishment in my mind--

The smart player play on only team anyway not on a bunch of varied levels---we are raising a bunch of kids who cannot make decisions on their own and we let them do as they please


Call me "old school" but I think it time we go back to some "old school thinking"

Midlo, we clearly state illness, school, and church functions are the only reasons to not make a game before practice starts in the Fall (and any fees are paid). We do encourage them to play on other teams, understanding ours is first priority. U10 is really the lowest organized travel level in our area so we are dealing with first time travel players and parents. My problem is this boy and his family knowingly put his wants on top and left his teammates in a spot. We're one of those everyone bats, no one sits more than an inning, everyone plays 2 or more positions type of team. I will put him in the batting order but he will sit the first three defensively and I'll be sure to explain why.

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
It is about time we stop coddling the kids of today---let them learn responsibility---if he were on my team he would no longer be on the roster--you cannot let kids/parents walk over you as a coach---you bring him back and what does tell the other kids who stayed with you---POPPYCOCK--sitting him is a minimal punishment in my mind--

The smart player play on only team anyway not on a bunch of varied levels---we are raising a bunch of kids who cannot make decisions on their own and we let them do as they please


Call me "old school" but I think it time we go back to some "old school thinking"

TR, I know we don't always see eye-to-eye but I applaud your call for an end to the perpetual nonsense of coddling today's youth.

There's nothing wrong with being 'old school'!

My son was once asked to play on a second team after midseason. I told him it was ok as long as he never missed games and practices for his primary team. When my son was available for the second team he played short and led off.

The next spring he was asked to play for the second team again. The coach agreed to the same situation. After a few practices I decided it was not fair. It wasn't fair to the kid getting pushed off short. It wasn't fair to every kid getting pushed off their position. The kid getting bumped out of the lineup was really getting screwed.

But I decided the kid getting the worst of it was my son being told he was so special he could come and go as he pleased, never attend practice and play short when he shows up. I didn't want my son to develop into a prima donna. I told him to quit.

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
It is about time we stop coddling the kids of today---let them learn responsibility---if he were on my team he would no longer be on the roster--you cannot let kids/parents walk over you as a coach---you bring him back and what does tell the other kids who stayed with you---POPPYCOCK--sitting him is a minimal punishment in my mind--

The smart player play on only team anyway not on a bunch of varied levels---we are raising a bunch of kids who cannot make decisions on their own and we let them do as they please


Call me "old school" but I think it time we go back to some "old school thinking"

Yeah, let's go back to the old school and teach them real lessons.


He is 10 let it go.
Post here again in 5 years and see how many kids still play for you or are even playing.

three boys dad


When do you begin teaching kids responsibility?

quote:

Originally posted by threeboysdad:
Yeah, let's go back to the old school and teach them real lessons.


He is 10 let it go.
Post here again in 5 years and see how many kids still play for you or are even playing.

Looks like some great training development!

I think I will have my 7U team incorporate this into station work....maybe it will break Little Johnny of the bad habits and built-in excuses that his coddling parents have given him.

Yeah, let's go back to the old school and teach them real lessons.


He is 10 let it go.
Post here again in 5 years and see how many kids still play for you or are even playing.[/QUOTE]
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Threeboysdad:
Picking the cotton was NOT the problem!

Not sharing in the profits or or rewards of picking the cotton, or being beaten and killed and not being free to walk away if they wanted...THAT was the problem.

If your kid doesn't want to do the hard work and be committed to reap the rewards, than you are free to walk away.

IMHO, comparing baseball to slavery is pathetic and you ought to be ashamed of yourself...

quote:

Originally posted by Lesterclan:

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Threeboysdad:
Picking the cotton was NOT the problem!

Not sharing in the profits or or rewards of picking the cotton, or being beaten and killed and not being free to walk away if they wanted...THAT was the problem.

If your kid doesn't want to do the hard work and be committed to reap the rewards, than you are free to walk away.

IMHO, comparing baseball to slavery is pathetic and you ought to be ashamed of yourself...

Slow down there big boy, the picture is of kids working in the field not of slavery. I would not do anything like that. So not to offend you I removed the picture and added one that might cool you down
As far as my son's not doing the hard work to reap the rewards, My oldest is a Texas A&M Grad, my second is still deciding what to do(His choice not mine) He has played in over 70 games this yr, again his choice and the youngest he is doing fine, thanks for being concerned