By special request ... equal rights for the male majority!

Thanks but No thanks! We men don’t NEED someone to MAKE a special forum for us. If we see a forum we like I think we have the ability to take it over.

Well, since we have this thing we might as well make good use of it. First off NO females! We also need this to be MEMBERS ONLY. We need to set up some rules and maybe an initiation process to weed out the deadbeats. We also need to re-decorate.... anyone know where we can find one of those magical refrigerators? Jolly Roger emailed me a new “hooters” calendar I can tape to the door.
OK some rules for membership…..

1. Must have been a member of the armed services or at least know someone who was a member of the armed services.

2. Must have a least one scar on your body.

3. Must have played baseball or have a son that plays baseball or know someone who has a son that plays baseball

4. Cannot have ever been seen at a s****r match (or game) or whatever they call those things.

5 Must know the difference between a straight slot and a Phillips

Come on we need more RULES!........

#6 - Must be able to sing Springsteen's "Candy's Room" at the drop of a hat.

#7 - must NOT (now or ever) know who wrote The Scarlet Letter.

#8 - must do monthly testicular exams (on self only, not on others).

#9 Must be able to name all 6 branches of the US Military and all 4 branches of the US government.

Fungo, you are awesome, I am still laughing

I may be coaching in Nashville this summer, I was offered a Head Coach position in the wood bat league. Love to meet you sometime.

Keep up the awesome posts!

Coach Strecker

#11 Absolutely must leave the room or change the channel every time Steel Magnolias is playing.

GW4S,
You ain't right!

Receipt? Real men don't keep receipts nor do they need them to return items. Do you think Chuck Norris needs a receipt! You just need to psyche your self up befor you confront the sales clerk:

.

Wood Man....Could you please move over?...I need to mark my new territory and I don't want to get any on you....

And could you look in that tool box and see if we've got any new smilies for REAL men...(I hope I don't have to explain this to you..)

I did a little redecorating...Put up a calander...What? 1968?...Yea, who cares, take a look at those...

Hey, anyone got any chew?...sure glad to be done with those spitoons on those other boards..

Just for the record I'm punchin' the first guy who mentions Broke**** Mountain..

By the way how do I spit and scratch myself on-line?...

New rule:
Absolutely nothing of a serious nature ... if you have a problem, take it to the Ladies ...

... they tell us how to fix everything anyway (including the sink, garbage disposal, dryer ... and they don't use duct tape ... how's that gonna work ... don't know how you duct tape a relationship anyway)

quote:

spit and scratch

Guess that's better than scratch and sniff

Well, I can see by Fungo's rule #4 that I am not welcome here. Unfortuantely, JT, Jr was a keeper on his MS team years ago, and yes, I attended. I even worked s****r as part of my job.

Now, question for the panel, did it count if I didn't enjoy it???
(My wife says NO, that it doesn't count if you don't enjoy it.)

Unfortuantely, I also know that Hawthorne wrote TSL.

So, back to hang with the ladies...

GW4S,

quote:

I think it depends on what the definition of is is...

A real man can change the rules!
Who was it that made that "IS" statement famous? Hmmm... must have been John Wayne.

quote:

Spit and Scratch

quote:

Scratch and Sniff

Twist and shout.
Duck and cover.
Clean and jerk.
Mutt and Jeff.
Mork and Mindy... Oh heh...that Mindy was okay.

Nanu Nanu.

I, Beezer, do here by apply for membership to the MOF. Please note my credentials as follows:

1. Must have been a member of the armed services or at least know someone who was a member of the armed services. CHECK

2. Must have a least one scar on your body. CHECK

3. Must have played baseball or have a son that plays baseball or know someone who has a son that plays baseball CHECK, CHECK and CHECK

4. Cannot have ever been seen at a s****r match (or game) or whatever they call those things. I plead the 5th

5 Must know the difference between a straight slot and a Phillips. CHECK

#6 - Must be able to sing Springsteen's "Candy's Room" at the drop of a hat. CHECK - probably not on key though

#7 - must NOT (now or ever) know who wrote The Scarlet Letter. CHECK (I don't even know what the Scarlet Letter is)

#8 - must do monthly testicular exams (on self only, not on others). CHECK - Daily

#9 Must be able to name all 6 branches of the US Military and all 4 branches of the US government. CHECK

10.) Preference for urinal cakes must be the ice blue variety...not those frilly hot pink ones. CHECK

#11 Absolutely must leave the room or change the channel every time Steel Magnolias is playing. CHECK (my TV don't play no chick flicks)

Oh wise ones.......I am officially applying to the MEN's ONLY Forum.

I have no credentials but I do have a question for the panel.

If I divorce my wife, will she still be my sister.

and remember....

I am 3 french fries short of a happy meal, my mohter NEVER had any kids that lived, I drink the kickin chicken aka Wild Turkey, but I don't chew or smoke......and as my brother from another mother says..."you just ain't right boy"

Let me know if I am in.

O42

quote:

Originally posted by orioles42:
If I divorce my wife, will she still be my sister.

O42

sounds like you fit the pattern of the gene pool.

Hey Wood & Triple H,

I am ashamed....I did leave one thing out; please understand it is only because I really want to be in the MOF.

So here it is, if you still let me in, I will not let you down.

MY FAMILY TREE DOES NOT FORK.

I will let everyone decide now.

O42

I am just now returning to the locker room. I had to go find a towel since lafmom barged in right after I got out of the shower.

Hey T-Bird,

Maybe next time you ought to give her a thrill......

O42