As I was telling stories at the local bar while having an adult beverage for happy hour. A Pirate walked in and sat next to me. I could not help notice the Pirate was not in good shape (only had one leg, one hand with a hook on it, and one eye. So I bought him a beer, and he told me his troubles.

What happened to your leg?
…Got it shot off with a cannon ball, clear gone.

How about the hook on your hand? A sword fight and a clean chop of my hand.

And what happened to your eye? A bird crapped in my eye. It was the first day I was wearing my hook!

cheers
Bear