Krak brought these up in another thread, at least I think this is what he was talking about
Breathrite strips

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Good one spiz!

But(t) alas...what to do with the noxious SBD?

Perhaps he could incorporate this into the device somehow?

You asked for it:

http://www.flat-d.com/flatdreusable.html

80pat

these are great in these tough economic times. don't throw them away,they double as bbq briquets.

There are two things that scare me here. One is that they are advertised as reusable and two, I can't imagine what a methane infused brick of charcoal would do when put to a match.

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BBQ briquettes 20dad?

80PATRIOT'S pads aren't mesquite chips, but I imagine they would impart a certain flavor to your favorite grilled food.

I suppose you could even experiment some by eating various foods. Like Cracker Jack© for example.

I wonder what flavor a case or two of digested Cracker Jack© might etch on a nice Delmonico steak or even the pedestrian Ball Park© frank?

Imagine their Cracker© and their Jack©, that tantalizing caramelized essence tinged with a touch of peanut, infused loudly and proudly on one or more of those FLAT-D© pads.

The savor drenched pads then skillfully nestled amongst your briquettes...subtly, or perhaps not so subtly as 80PATRIOT suspects, dispensing everything your digestive tract has worked so hard to produce.

Much trial and error will have to be endured before perfection can even be sniffed at, but no worry, in the end it will all have been worth the effort.

And the bucketful of secret prizes is a well deserved reward!

Good Stuff...

No way would I ever use that product. When marriage has robbed us men of almost all pleasures in life, there's always that one steadfast friend that no one can take from us: the wall-shaking partner-waking middle-of-the-night high-fidelity ripshot bomb.

It's the most outstanding passive-aggressive tool we have left in our arsenals and, gentlemen, we oughtn't ever be ashamed of it.

quote:

Originally posted by 80PATRIOT:
You asked for it:

http://www.flat-d.com/flatdreusable.html

Here is the list of related products:


▪ Chair Pad
▪ Flatulence Deodorizer� Premium
▪ Flatulence Deodorizer - Disposable
▪ Extra Tape
▪ Overpad-D
▪ Odor Kleen
▪ View all »

Now I ask you............Extra Tape??

quote:

Originally posted by Krakatoa:

quote:

Originally posted by 80PATRIOT:
You asked for it:

http://www.flat-d.com/flatdreusable.html

Here is the list of related products:


▪ Chair Pad
▪ Flatulence Deodorizer� Premium
▪ Flatulence Deodorizer - Disposable
▪ Extra Tape
▪ Overpad-D
▪ Odor Kleen
▪ View all »

Now I ask you............Extra Tape??

There are two cases in which one like myself would need "extra tape".

The first case would be if had eaten Taco Bell. I have been warned and even tormented by the USGS for many seismic readings in our area. But recent studies have put me in thier favor. See the link below.

http://www.usgs.gov/faq/list_faq_by_category/get_answer...id=762&from=rss_home

The second case would be for the gravitationally challenged, sometimes refered to as double wides, lard a$$ or the always polite big boned. I fit into this category but the Flat-D doesnt really fit me. Therefore, extra tape becomes an essential part of the system and the responsible thing to do.

Just trying to do my part.

Why waste all that tape when there's Velcro? If you're built right you'll only need to use the hook side.

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quote:

Originally posted by 80PATRIOT:
There are two cases in which one like myself would need "extra tape".The first case would be if had eaten Taco Bell.

Well 80PATRIOT, the next time you take on a meal like a whole Taco Bell© I'd suggest you go easy on the hot sauce. And this is the last time I'm going to tell you..."Clean your plate!"

quote:

Originally posted by 80PATRIOT:
I have been warned and even tormented by the USGS for many seismic readings in our area. But recent studies have put me in their favor.

USGS: FAQ.. "You ask and we'll answer!"

That's right...even a question only that handful of weirdos on the HSBBW could dream up.



Ok...here we go...your terribly, terribly stupid question:

Why is it important to study the effects of consuming, or partially consuming, a typical suburban Taco Bell© restaurant?

Can doing so give me gas...like, for example, gas hydrate?

I'll lay down and listen for my answer. Thank you.

B-E-L-C-H! (A really, really productive one).

Excuse me...so sorry...let me wipe that off for you. There's a chunk on your pocket protector. Did any get in your Gas Chromatograph Mass Spectrometer? It did? Wow! Turn it on!

Our answer that we're obligated to give, yet very annoyed and reluctant to provide:

Natural Gas Hydrate, found in the building components of most commercial buildings (and in this case it is most certainly found in the ingredients used to prepare their menu items), contains highly concentrated substances, which when devoured, easily convert into massive amounts of methane.

We, the USGS, estimates that there are 85.4 trillion cubic feet of undiscovered, technically recoverable gas from Natural Gas Hydrates on the Alaskan North Slope. How in the heck so much ended up there we're just not sure. We even looked it up on Wikipedia and couldn't find a good explanation. Imagine that!

If that immense number seems incomprehensible to you it shouldn't be...it's really just a bit more than the dollar amount our Congressional leaders are throwing around for their proposed Economic Stimulus bill.

This is the first-ever resource estimate of technically recoverable Natural Gas Hydrates in the world. It's flat out a lot of gas!

This assessment shows that Natural Gas Hydrates could add significantly to the U.S. energy trail mix. Somehow or other the Alaskan North Slope holds one of the nation’s largest deposits of technically recoverable natural gas. With FLAT-D© pad technology, and you guys knowing how to use it, our Natural Gas Hydrate supply could become ever expanding with the steady migration of Natural Gas Hydrate lumps to the Alaskan North Slope.

So if you handful of wierdos on the HSBBW want to really help our country become energy independent, while at the same time helping to curb suburban sprawl, we would recommend that you eat each and every Taco Bell© that you encounter. We'll even toss in all of the cerveza fria you may need to help wash them all down...now get outta here and get eating...think outside the bun!

Wow 80PATRIOT! That took guts to ask a question like that...especially to those geeks at the USGS. I got the impression that they were rather annoyed for some reason...did you feel the same?

Hey...did you manage to kype that Two For One "Bell's A Ringing!" Meal Deal coupon from his pencil drawer? You did? Sweet! I get the Chalupa Supreme© this time!

I guess those geology boys want us to take our Natural Gas Hydrate lumps up to the Alaskan North Slope. Their survey says:"Go North you big boned men!" We better dress for the weather and the job...right?








Web Foots© manufactures the finest, high-performance thermal long underwear for cold-weather hunting, fishing, winter sports, play, and work... even for those handful of weirdos on the HSBBW who plan to dump their lumps way up north.

Web Foots Body Sock© Suit Style #3 is our biggest selling item...and you guys are going to need the biggest ones we could possibly make without having to expand our facility into the next county!

It features a two-way front zipper which opens from the top and the bottom for easy elimination if you're so inclined and not suffering from cold induced fumble fingers. It also has the convenient and indespensible heavy-duty zippered rear-flap for dumping your lumps out on the cold and barren, and the soon to be not-so-pristine, Alaskan North Slope.

The suit has stirrup feet which keep the pant leg well-anchored and anchoring thumbholes on the wrist cuffs. You'll find these features an absolute life saver as your torque-pounds ramp up during your dumping cycle. Also as you slip your thumbs into the holes when pulling on outer garments nothing at all will bunch up...not even those cute little snow bunnies seeking warmth and shelter.

The thumbholes also work great when you need to keep your hands and wrists ready to ward off those pesky Arctic Terns trying to get that savory frozen morsel of the Bacon Cheddar Gordita Crunch© off your spicy chin. Lousy birds...if they want some they can wing it down to Fairbanks and get their own!

STYLE 3 shown way over there to the right. Note:The size shown is not anywhere close to the size you guys are going to need.

* Heavy-duty triple reinforced zippered rear flap with Teflon© coated chute.

* 2-way front zipper...fine if you can ever figure out how to work the dang thing.

* Anchoring thumbholes with handwarmers and bird deterrent capsules.

* Stirrup feet...oh yeah! Off to the races!

* Ultra lightweight warmth...the kind those snow bunnies cherish.

* 4-way stretch...ain't gonna' happen...not at my age!

* Wicks perspiration...and then what?

* Antimicrobial...up to a point!

* Washable...huh?

Our Style 3 will keep you toasty warm and dry as Moore County, KY. Now with you guys, when it comes to our odor free guarantee...all bets are off.

Check out our sizing guides for proper fit. We didn't really want to list gargantuan on our chart, but hey...times are slow...we need the business.

The products are machine washable in powdered detergent and cool water. In the case of your Style 3 we recommend attaching it to a dragline behind an ocean-going tug and barge that is leaking it's load of trisodium phosphate.

They can be dried on the lowest setting of your dryer and "fluffed" for just a few minutes without shrinkage. Again, in your case because of their size, we can only advise you to rig up some sort of clothesline system to best dry them. The Bonneville Power Administration's steel powerline towers leading from the Bonneville Dam in the Columbia River Gorge come to mind. Just realize you are asking Mother Nature to take on a task that she most likely doesn't have the energy for... you may have to wear them damp.

We offer our Style 3 in a wide array of dazzling and tantalizing colors. Choose from: White Bread White; January Sky Gray; Feeling Blue; and Remember Red. New this season! Available January 20. Bold and brilliant! Guilt-Free White!

quote:

Originally posted by 80PATRIOT:
The second case would be for the gravitationally challenged, sometimes refered to as double wides, lard a$$ or the always polite big boned. I fit into this category but the Flat-D doesnt really fit me. Therefore, extra tape becomes an essential part of the system and the responsible thing to do.Just trying to do my part.

"Breaker, breaker 80PATRIOT...do we go right or left at Ft. Nelson? And that tape you ordered...the CN dispatcher said we could meet the flat car at Haines Junction...copy that?"

Golly dern! I sure was hoping that incident wouldn't make the news. These are the unfortunate consequences of a design flaw in the Flat-D. At least that's what my lawyer is telling me.

I had just come from Campers World as I needed a shirt and some pants. I particularly like these new shorts with the zippered, screened flap. Anyway, I had just got to the Bell for my 1:30 or 2:30 feeding..... I forget as they all run together. Well I got there and squeezed through the stanchions and up to the register. I ordered up the usual, one of everything but changed it up with extra beefy on the beefy cheesy burrito. I handed Lupe my card and went over to get some hot sauce and a few Mountain Dews when Lupe yelled across the room "your card no work". Well, that was a little humiliating but the panic set in as the thought of missing out on one of my feedings just terrified me. I hurry back over to find out I had handed him "A Quick Guide to Set Up" from my new shorts. I quickly dug through my shorts and found my USGS issued Visa card (no need for coupons) and my transaction was complete.
Here is where things get a little fuzzy. I was somewhat embarrassed and a little excited to get the Yugo loaded up, I was running toward the exit.....well, moving as quickly as a man of my stature should, I felt a little bit of a heat build up at my inner thigh and then it happen.

A huge explosion gently started me in the direction of the car but whatever was happening behind me sounded like terrorists had it in for the Bell. It was a horrible site. Refried beans littered the drive thru and I could smell my favorite cheesy sauce burning.

Sure, there were a couple of bodies strewn about, and I can't say I didn't step on a few as I tried to save a kettle of taco meat but we are talking my livelihood here people.

As my lawyer debriefed me we spent a few hours watching security video. It seems fire investigators are right. The nylon material my new shorts were made of just weren't designed to handle the friction generated by the simple action of what I'll call scurrying. Now we don't know for sure if it was a static or heat generated spark but that, in combination with the incredible capacity of the Flat-D to store methane is what caused this tragedy.

The lawsuit boils down to this. Flat-D contends that their product was never designed to handle the amount of methane I produce. As if I am some sort of freak. Our argument is simple. There should have been warnings on the package.

Wish me luck.

P.S. Woody, thanks for sending over the Body Sock but it didn't do much for my figure. I look like....well, I look like a *** turtle sausage.

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And by the way 80PATRIOT...I've started to see these sprouting up on the Taco Bells© around our area.




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