Incident at Bass Pro Shop (A SPORTING GOODS STORE)
A woman goes into Bass Pro to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. A Bass Pro associate is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, 'Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?'
He says, 'Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes.' She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.
He says, 'That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all around combination; and it's on sale this week for only $20.00.'
She says, 'It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!' As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
'Oh, that sounds like a Master Card,' he says.
She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around?
The man rings up the sale and says, 'That'll be $34.50 please.'
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, 'Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $20.00? How did you get $34.50?'
He replies, 'Yes, ma'am. The rod and reel is $20.00, but the Duck Call is $11.00 and the Catfish Bait is $3.50.
Posts: 1833 | Location: Pueblo,CO,USA | Registered: December 27, 2002
I agree 20dad...11 bucks does seem high for a duck call. I suppose if you're handy you could fashion your own duck call using a few ordinary items from around the workshop...
...and before you know it...you've got yourself a duck call!
.
And as for the catfish bait...may as well make your own! Here's some winning recipes...
UNCLE BOB'S STANK BAIT
Ingredients:
5-10 shad or 2 dozen minnows.
8 oz. Limburger cheese, cubed.
Wheat.
Flour or cotton seed mill.
Instructions:
In a 2lb. coffee can put the shad and cubed cheese. Be sure to remove the coffee first.
Bury the can in the ground next to your IRA that you withdrew from the bank last month.
In another 2 lb. coffee can put about 2 inches of wheat. Put in enough water to cover the wheat.
Cover the top and let it set until the water is good and sour. You'll know it's sour enough by the twisted face on whoever you have designated as taster. This usually takes one to two weeks. And don't worry...your taster's face usually takes only a week more to untwist.
Try to remember where you buried it and then dig up the first can.
Pour in the water and add flour or cotton seed to thicken. Resist the urge to drink this.
Mix it all up and use as sponge bait, or as the basis for a really good practical joke.
Note: This stuff will knock a buzzard off a cr@p wagon. And it catches fish!
Note: For those of you residing on the coast in the Pacific Northwest you'll have to take a pass on this recipe...there just isn't enough sunlight during the course of the year to fully cure this recipe. Sorry.
Put the hamburger meat in a bowl and add the small bottle of vanilla extract along with the 3 tbsp. of garlic salt and mix it up...mix it up real, real good.
Once mixed up real, real good then roll it all into little balls about the size of a quarter.
After about an hour take the netting from a potato bag and wrap the little balls separately. Put a small rubber band on each to seal it up so it won't fall off your hook.
Note: Great for flatheads. I've caught 30 pounders on it!
Posts: 10352 | Location: western suburbs of Chicago | Registered: June 07, 2005
What is it with catfish, anyway? What vile creatures. We used to catch them when I was a kid, in a little canal that funnelled into a pipe that went under the road. I almost hated when I'd actually catch one because of the stupid spines. I was more interested in looking for softshell turtle nests -- all these baby softshell heads disappearing into the sand when you got close.
There was, as in any good fish story, a monster catfish that we'd see on occasion cruising in and out of the pipe.....right past our bait......never caught that one.
True Catfish Story from later in life: I worked a couple summers at the Lake Lanier/Pineisle waterpark in Buford, Georgia. About a week before driving there from my first year of college, a truck full of live chickens had skidded on the wet road which topped a dam and gone into the water - very dark, very deep. The driver got out okay, but a salvage diver who went down a couple hours later was horrified to see GIANT (like 6 foot) catfish swarming the slatted back of the truck and devouring drowned chickens whole. It freaked him out so much he got out of the water as fast as he could.
"I would be lost without baseball. I don't think I could stand being away from it as long as I was alive." Roberto Clemente #21
Posts: 2756 | Location: Neither Here Nor There | Registered: November 26, 2003
