Why do so many parents ask for advice regarding the recruiting process and then go off and do what they want anyway ?

TR,
It's the old saying... "That won't happen to me, I'm smarter than everyone else." Sometimes you've got to get burned to learn.

I think this explains everything.

Because this is still America.

CPLZ

What bearing does that have on the question???

That's not quite a fair question.

I listen to financial advice from a lot of sources, and then do what I deem best.

At least some parents are going to the right source and asking. And look at the wide variety of responses they get from coaches, parents of pro and college players, and learned old timers. Rarely does everyone say the same thing. I think that's the strength of this site.

And I kinda of like "because this is still America."

This site really is great. I wish I knew of it sooner! Better late than never. Everyone on here has been very helpful and seem to want to help others. If the country all was like this we would be in great shape!

they are asking for advice. not taking orders.

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
CPLZ

What bearing does that have on the question???

We are free to do as we choose. Asking for advice doesn't come with a stipulator that you must follow the advice given. Many times, there are differing opinions on relatively simple questions. Just look at the thread regarding filling out recruiting questionnaires.

I know you think you have a lot of answers, but what you really have is a lot of situations that have worked out favorably for you...depth of experience. That doesn't mean a different person will achieve the same results by following in your footsteps.

Makes perfect sense to me.
1. Parents SHOULD educate themselves (that's the asking for advice part).

2. Parents SHOULD also do what is in their and their son's best interest (that what appears to be doing as "what they want").

One of the most important ingredient of a successful recruiting experience is having options so our sons will have the ability to determine a good choice (fit). And since we all see things from different knotholes, no two recruiting rides (or method of selection) will be identical. Getting advice is ALWAYS good --- However following SOME advice can be BAD.
Fungo

quote:

Originally posted by Fungo:
Makes perfect sense to me.
1. Parents SHOULD educate themselves (that's the asking for advice part).

2. Parents SHOULD also do what is in their and their son's best interest (that what appears to be doing as "what they want").

One of the most important ingredient of a successful recruiting experience is having options so our sons will have the ability to determine a good choice (fit). And since we all see things from different knotholes, no two recruiting rides (or method of selection) will be identical. Getting advice is ALWAYS good --- However following SOME advice can be BAD.
Fungo

TR, that is a good observation in my book. A lot of times, they aren't really asking, just looking for validation of what they want to do.

As we've all seen many times in our forums, on some topics, two very well respected members will give opposite advice.

Likewise, if you are giving advice to someone here or offline, they might also be getting advice from another source which just happens to more closely match their situation.

Julie

I never expect anyone to follow my advice.

Many times, when people follow your advice, they were thinking along the same lines anyways. Asking for advice is like a compare and contrast exercise. People often want to gauge their own logic and understanding. The advice is almost always general while the ultimate decision is almost always personal. Unless the advice happens to align with the personal needs of the recipient, then the person receiving the advice will not follow it.

For instance, I can advise an unemployed person that they ought to go out and be a senator or the President of the US. It might be great advice (from my point of view) but the practicality of it is zero. Sometimes on these boards, the advice will also be way over the ability/capability of the asker to follow. For example, you sometimes see advice like the best way to get recruited is to get on the Midland Redskins or East Cobb Braves, win a national championship in Farmington, get selected to the PG All-American team, etc. I am sure with those types of credentials a kid will get noticed but to offer that type of advice as a practical tip to someone asking from Montana seems a reach at best.

Finally, sometimes the asker of the advice already knows the answer. The question is rigged as an announcement of some amazing attribute of their kids or themselves or both. Questions like "Is a 75% offer from Stanford a good one?" or "Should we offer food or drink to the scouts when they visit our house" or "Is it ok to ask the scouts to move their radar guns out of our sight-plane when we are trying to watch our son pitch?"

ClevelandDad, great post. By the way, IS it appropriate to offer food or drink on the scouts visit to the house????? LOL

I happen to be from the Cleveland area also (Hudson) and have long been a person who enjoys reading the back and forth discussions that take place on this forum with the emphasis on reading . . . that having been said, I have a HS baseball playing son and really feel that gaining the insight and perspective that is made available on this site has been and is extremely valuable and is really (at the end of the day) what you choose for it to be. I have found the experiences of those who have gone before us, made mistakes or learned lessons and have subsequently shared them on here, to be well worth the time spent reading them and your note struck a chord with me this morning of which I felt more compelled to respond than read . . . thanks for your sage advice. By the way, my kid is a Walsh Jesuit Warrior . . . thanks again.

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
Why do so many parents ask for advice regarding the recruiting process and then go off and do what they want anyway ?

Rizzi,


Reasonable question and so true and more so in the last decade.


The 'loop' I frequently have referred to include:
- Observe
- Orient
- Decide
- Act

When parents ask for 'recruiting advise' they typically are seeking free information w/r to the process. In many cases, if not all, these parents are primarily in the Observe and Orient stages, and subsequently make their own Decision and subsequnt Actions.

Should parents pay for the information, more times than not, their Actions is after an understanding of the Alternative Decisions is reached, and are less surprised and satisfied with the outcome.

Bottom Line:
To Act without a Decision is Foolish
To Decide without Acting is a waste of time

quote:

Originally posted by ClevelandDad:
I never expect anyone to follow my advice.

Many times, when people follow your advice, they were thinking along the same lines anyways. Asking for advice is like a compare and contrast exercise. People often want to gauge their own logic and understanding. The advice is almost always general while the ultimate decision is almost always personal. Unless the advice happens to align with the personal needs of the recipient, then the person receiving the advice will not follow it.

Good stuff CD I agree. I remember when I first came here, I hung onto every word of Fungo, because I felt that his son's situation was in alignment with what our son was going through, and I would imagine that most here do the same now. The difference was that his son was a catcher, mine a pitcher and that can make a difference in the advice or thoughts given. I often get pm's from people whose sons are in similar situations ours was in HS, or in college entering their draft year, and I would never expect anyone to follow the advice given to the tee, but take the info from our situation, digest it and figure out what is best for their son. Every year I get more and more questions here regarding where son went, I can only give the perspective that I got when son attended year ago. They have to make their own decisions based on what is best for their son and their particular situation.

Advice is advice, but in the end, follow your gut instinct and that of your son's, I find that to be the best indicator of making good decisions.

quote:

By the way, my kid is a Walsh Jesuit Warrior . . . thanks again.

cannon - welcome to the hsbbweb!

Walsh Jesuit is no doubt one of the top baseball programs in the state. I watched their State Championship game against NDCL over the web last year. It was a classic high school battle and a shame someone had to lose it. Again, welcome!

[Clevelanddad]Finally, sometimes the asker of the advice already knows the answer. The question is rigged as an announcement of some amazing attribute of their kids or themselves or both. Questions like "Is a 75% offer from Stanford a good one?" or "Should we offer food or drink to the scouts when they visit our house" or "Is it ok to ask the scouts to move their radar guns out of our sight-plane when we are trying to watch our son pitch?"[/quote]

Clevelanddad, boy did you hit the nail on the head with this quote and amusing! Good response to TR's question.

quote:

Originally posted by Pop Up Hitter dad:
[Clevelanddad]Finally, sometimes the asker of the advise already knows the answer. The question is rigged as an announcement of some amazing attribute of their kids or themselves or both. Questions like "Is a 75% offer from Stanford a good one?" or "Should we offer food or drink to the scouts when they visit our house" or "Is it ok to ask the scouts to move their radar guns out of our sight-plane when we are trying to watch our son pitch?"

Good point, why on earth would someone ask if 75% was a good offer (from any school) if the minimum is 25%. I also find it interesting that adults wouldn't know to offer ANYONE visiting their home if they would like some refreshments, or if it is ok to ask the scouts to move their radar guns so they can watch their son pitch (just get up and move would be my advice ). I missed that one.

Sometimes advice asked can tell you a whole lot about the person posting, and real motives. For those that feel the need to ask those type of questions they already know the answer to, I am not impressed. JMO.