I am new to the site although friends have told me about it often enough. My son will be playing Division One baseball in the fall as a freshman. My husband has mostly been involved in all the baseball activities. So he knows more about it than I do. But in the past month, my son has been really upset. He says he wants to quit baseball. He wants to have a normal life. He says his whole life has been orchestrated around baseball and he feels like he can't plan or do anything. He has talked to one or two players from his future college team and they told him that it is 24 hours of baseball with no time off. This is freaking my son out. My husband says it is senior-itis and that it will pass. My son is going to play summer ball away from home right after school ends. He'll have only 3 weeks after summer ball ends before he has to move into college. I told my son (this almost gave my husband a heart attack) that he should quit then if it's not fun anymore. My son said that he'd be letting everybody down, he's not good at anything else. What gets me is that right after that, we all went to his ball game and he pitched a no-hitter, went 3 for 4 at the plate and was as happy as I've seen him. Came home and went out in the yard and took a couple of more swings before icing his arm. How can he be so all over the place emotionally? And should we just hang in there and wait this out?

This is a great post. Because each person must determine the amount of time they want to devote to any one thing, and there is really no in-between in playing college baseball, his concern is legitimate. Of course, having success helps.

slugger1957

Welcome to the HSBBW.

Your son, just might be going through a emotional roller coaster, with the thoughts of going off to College right around the corner, and playing summer Baseball away from home and not really having much time to see and hang out with his friends before he goes off.

I know of a few players who told me they went through similiar thoughts during their senior year of HS, but they said once they got out onto that College field and got to know their team mates and got more comfortable being at their respected schools, those thoughts simply went away.

I hope this helps.

Mom,

One of the main reasons why so many of the older websters on this site strongly urge sons to go to the school "that they would want to be if something happens to baseball", is precisely because of what your son has told you.

Hope he chose the school for the school and not the baseball, because if things don't go well for him in the fall (they do have fall ball at all D1's), he'll be very unhappy.

And you know how tough it is to live with an unhappy teenager, whether because of a girl or baseball.

I have not been in your shoes and pray that I never am, but would it be better to have him take the summer off (he already has his scholarship) to relax and build up his desire and longing to be on the diamond again in the fall?
He can always work with his pitching and/or hitting coach over the summer. His arm may be better for the rest, as we have read on other posts, and it sounds as though emotionally he may be refreshed as well.

my 2 cents ... if this is the first time you've seen mood swings thru his teen yrs you are indeed lucky ... also coming soon is a pretty big event in a boy's life in that he's basicly leaving the nest.

btw, 3 weeks from end of summer ball till college would be considered a vacation by those whose college begins mid-August
I'd also agree that a summer off or shortened wouldn't be bad IF he's still conditioning
(can't emphasize conditioning enough)

quote:

by slugger: one or two players from his future college team and they told him that it is 24 hours of baseball with no time off. This is freaking my son out

I'll tell you that's flat out not at all true

regarding baseball the entire fall includes "only a 30 day window" of team practice, w/hrs per week limited by ncaa rule - outside the 30 day window there will be small group instuction w/ hrs limited by rules. that's about it -

oops, there IS conditioning - but that's no big deal right? as it's just an extension of what players have been doing during 4 yrs of HS - even regular college students have time for it.

he'll have class time & also a mandantory study table for freshmen ... most schools are pretty good at helping new students adjust

quote:

by slugger: My son said that he'd be letting everybody down, he's not good at anything else

that actually could be said of most ALL guys entering college - but in 4 yrs he could be a great teacher, programmer, an architect, engineer, or on his way to becoming a doctor or whatever he wants to be

It does sound as if he needs a break. Since he already has a college playing this summer is not important to be recruited. It will be to stay in form. Maybe he can play the 1st half and then take a well needed vacation to clear his mind.

College ball is 24 hours. It can be a difficult adjustment for freshman. Weight training, classes, practice and then studying and mandatory tutoring. And once the season starts it gets worse when you throw in all the traveling.

Don't forget about the emotional needs, since that does affect the physical.

Slugger1957, great post and welcome to the HSBBW. I would venture to say that most player go through what your son is experiencing. I think every player that anticipates a move to the next level tends to get apprehensive about that move. They have to be thinking – “Am I good enough to play at this level?” “What if I fail?” “If I quit now I can go out a winner.” Some will follow through and quit but for the most part it is part of the emotional roller coaster that comes with moving up through life. (BeenthereIL brings up a good point because all players will eventually quit so academics will always be the most important.) I know we’ve all seen people “pass out” at their wedding ceremony simply because these "challenges" can be overwhelming. I can remember my son wanting to quit when he was about 10 years old and then again when he was 16. When he was 10 it was burnout and fear of playing at the next level and when he was 16 it was because of extra curricular activities (job, girls, and car). I did talk with him on both occasions and I don’t know if my talks had an impact but he reluctantly changed his mind and continued to play. He’ll soon be 23 and still playing baseball --- and he’s more excited about the game today than he ever was.
I suggest you talk to your son and support him no matter what he does. Think about it and then explain the pros and cons of quitting and the pros and cons of continuing to play. I personally think college life and baseball go quite well together. He needs to get pumped about being able to play D-1 baseball. That’s quite an accomplishment! Someone needs to “convince” your son on his accomplishment of being on a college baseball team. College baseball actually provides a lot of additional opportunities to the college athlete. His social life will be “enhanced” and there will be staff members that are actually concerned about your grades and class participation. Not to mention how the girls look at college athletes. The rewards in college baseball are much greater than those in high school. Of course the failures are tougher in college but then that is the way life in general is. That’s what motivates us! Keep us posted.
Fungo

I think I agree with your husband, it will pass. Maybe once he gets to school and realizes that there are 30-40 kids on his team in the same boat, and dealing with it one way or another he'll see things differently. I hope he realizes what a great and unique opportunity playing DI ball is! He did tip his hand IMO though. When you agreed with him that he should quit, he immediately gave you a reason why he shouldn't. If he truly felt in his heart that this wasn't for him anymore, I don't think he would have cared who he was "letting down". This begs a question: Is an incoming Freshman ballplayer who has yet to play even one pitch at the college level letting his team down if he decides not to play anymore? I ask because a couple of years back when my son was a sophomore in high school, he had a senior teammate who was a pitcher. This kid was recruited at the DI level and is now on a DI roster. He's a sophomore on a team in the Atlantic-10 conference and has yet to throw a pitch in anger at the college level. Would his team have been "let down" if he decided not to play for this team? Sorry for the babbling tangent!

Love everyone's thoughts in this thread - especially Bee> and Fungo. I also got a chuckle, because I'll second the fact that your chances are better socially by being on the baseball team

Baseball is a big advantage for the student imho. Many kids lack the necessary discipline when they enter college. The coaches are there to provide it for them.

I can understand the feelings. A respected coach once told me that "They can make you give up your love of the game" at the higher levels. I think with an adequate break, your son will remember his love for the game. He won't believe how exciting next fall seems when he will be competing for playing time in the spring.

Slugger,

Others have covered this quite thoroughly and I hope their feedback helps. Isn't this a fantastic resource?

I don't know how our boys do it, they keep going and going and going ... who wouldn't need a break now and then.

Our son was advised that he had to play on this or that summer team or attend this or that showcase, but he limited his summer league activities. Even though I had to bite my tongue thinking it might be the wrong move, it ended up being exactly the right move for him.

Somewhere along the line, their own instincts begin to serve them well and our input becomes less valuable (even though our 100% support will always be crucial.

Your boy will figure it out and his will be the right decision. Good luck and try not to stress out over it (I need someone to tell me that this time of year, too!).

Hi Slugger!
I think everything your son is feeling is normal, especially for somone who might be a little "under the microscope" with the D1 signing. Both of our sons went through the same moments of doubt, stress, etc. more than once. We always told them that if they ever wanted to stop, they were free to make that decision at the end of the season and we'd support them 100%. I personally think that took some of the pressure off and helped them settle down a little. Both are still playing ball.

I bet your son will feel better about everything in time. Remind him of your unconditional love, let him talk about it whenever he wants, and put on your best "everything is going to be fine" face.

Your son will find that once he gets to college that the baseball team will be like a fraternity.

He will come to depend on his teammates for a variety of things throughout his college years.

He will develop friendships that will benefit him the rest of his life.

Tell him to hang in there, a lot of kids would switch places with him in a heartbeat, if they could.

CV

Just relax and dont worry because he will be okay. It wouldnt hurt for him to have some time off this summer if he wants it. Every kid goes through a period of time of uncertainty and emotions when they are facing something new. Your son just had a great time playing baseball and he came home and took a few more swings. That doesnt sound like a kid that wants to give it up. Maybe just a young man facing a new challenge ahead and just blowing off some steam. Good luck Im sure he will be fine.