I was feeling way too sarcastic the other day and I downed a whole bottle of these...actually I scattered them, like medicated croutons, throughout the Caeser salad I ordered, a salad that they made
without Romaine lettuce. What's up with that? Anyway, for the first time I can even remember, I decided to finish my salad. Go figure...right?
Someone took pity on me because of my excessive muteness and mild drooling, side effects from the
Sarcasma. I managed to tell him, through very rudimentary sign language, to "get a life...and while he's at it get a clue as well!"
I was rushed to the ER in an ambulance driven by a Tony Stewart wannabe. He even stopped off at
Home Depot for a three-way switch before pulling up to the
Receiving Dock at the hospital. I had to take a cab the rest of the way to the ER. What...I should walk?
Long story short...they pumped me for an hour or so...looking for answers I just couldn't give 'em. Our health insurance is not too good. I could see their frustration rising...they finally relented and pumped my stomach. What were they worried about? Like I was going to up and leave being tethered by all of those tubes and monitoring devices...yeah right!
When it was all said and done all I got was a
sense of loss and eighty seven cents in loose change. Could have at least been a buck...ya' think?
