A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

Colonoscopies are no joke , but these comments during the exam were quite humorous.....
1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'
4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'
5. 'You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.'
6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'
8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'
11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'
12. 'Now I know why I am not ***.'

And the best one of all..
13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

Having had one myself these comments are totally believable!

I have a tattoo down there that reads "Exit Only"

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quote:

Originally posted by spizzlepop:
I have a tattoo down there that reads "Exit Only"

"Please wipe your feet."

Not to belabor the point, but if you're soon scheduled here are a couple more takes on the topic sure to ease the tension.
Robin Williams
Lou Rawls