FIFTEEN THINGS THAT IT TOOK ME OVER 40 YEARS TO LEARN >1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
>2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
>3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
>4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.
>5. You should not confuse your career with your life.
>6. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
>7. Never lick a steak knife.
>8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
>9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.
>10. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.
>11. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.
>12. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
>13. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
>14. Your friends love you anyway.
>15. Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.
>FINAL Thought for the Day: Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the **** out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
>None of us is as dumb as all of us.
>Life is a battle between the heart and the brain. And, you know who wins? The skeleton
Believe it or not most of us could be above average drivers. The only "great" drivers are on racetracks and the bad drivers are really, really bad.
Here's an example of how more than half the people can be above average. Consider each of the following numbers to be a driver rating with 10 being the best and 1 being the worst: 6,6,7,6,6,6,6,3,2,2. The average rating for these drivers is 5. 7 of the 10 drivers are then above average drivers.
Posts: 4703 | Location: Southern CA, USA | Registered: January 02, 2003
CADad - Good point - that must be why I'm the best driver around while I'm talking on my cell phone and parallel parking
----------------------------- "Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10"
Posts: 1121 | Location: Northern California | Registered: August 26, 2003
H-mom * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * We learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp; some are dull; some are pretty; some have weird names; all are different colors. And they all have to learn to live in the same box.
Posts: 3937 | Location: Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight ... | Registered: January 02, 2003
that must be why I'm the best driver around while I'm talking on my cell phone and parallel parking
