Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "Cumin" or "Tofu." For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stop working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).
Because I'm a man, I don't think we're all that lost, and no, I don't think we should stop and ask someone. Why would you listen to a complete stranger, I mean, how the heck could he know where we're going?
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
Because I'm a man—and this is, after all, the 21st Century—I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest.
Is this heaven?...
Posts: 2177 | Location: Western PA | Registered: January 01, 2003
Not necessarily a matter of hating men ... perhaps more a matter of understanding reality and accepting it, warts and all ...
H-mom * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * We learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp; some are dull; some are pretty; some have weird names; all are different colors. And they all have to learn to live in the same box.
Posts: 3937 | Location: Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight ... | Registered: January 02, 2003
PA, perhaps you should add a "because I am a man' addressing hypersensitivity.
Perhaps TR would prefer that we used the rose colored glasses, not for our boys on the field, but solely for gazing lovingly at our husbands. (yeah, that's going to happen )
--------------------------------- From 'Nice Guys Finish Last' by Leo Durocher:
Baseball lives at the center of a never-flagging whirl of irreconcilable opinions.
I am truly glad that that I met you in Jupiter and had a chance to chat and get to know each other--- perhaps you are right
BUT
they bash us and yet marry us---is this so that they have something(Someone) to talk about-- ironically as I type this The Rascals just came on singing "I've been lonely too long"
IMAO LOL
TRhit
Posts: 19181 | Location: Manchester, CT USA | Registered: December 26, 2002
As you enter this thread please beware ‘Bout our spouses we sometimes compare. While some guys scratch their heads At the comments they’ve read, Please don’t worry, we’re showing we care!
(Note to Chill: thanks alot for getting me started on this.... I can't stop thinking in limericks )
----------------------------- "Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10"
Posts: 1121 | Location: Northern California | Registered: August 26, 2003
My husband and I took a trailer trip to southern California this past summer. The air conditioner went out around Redding, on a day when the temperature hit 115. He wouldn't let me open a window in the trailer because "we just have to give it (the air conditioner) time to work! What's wrong with you??"
I slept outside that evening.
We're having the air conditioner fixed this week. Yes, it is now November, and we don't really need it at the moment.
I'm not saying what this story has to do with this thread. You can draw your own conclusions.
Posts: 372 | Location: formerly WA, now AZ | Registered: December 26, 2002
Wow. I read it, I chuckled, I reflected on how there was a kernel of truth in almost every item (although if I ever get soup in bed when I'm sick I'm hiring a private eye to follow Mrs. Dog)...
Then TR's "man hater" response.
Wow again. I don't see an ounce of hate there. I don't see how anyone could see anything but wry affection and fair observation. Men and women are different. Not every man matches every item in the post, but I for one sure match most of 'em. And Mrs. Dog doesn't. Vive la difference.
Thin skin?
D'oh!
Posts: 641 | Location: California | Registered: January 06, 2003
HAHA... Teasing our men is just what we do... It's a form of flattery. They don't take it seriously, and we can laugh at the blonde jokes...
This is another good one:
What a woman says vs. What a man hears.... Woman says: "This place is a mess! C'mon, you and I need to clean up. Your stuff is laying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear if we don't do the laundry right now!!"
What a man hears: blah, blah, blah, C'MON blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah RIGHT NOW
It's a chromosome thing....
______________________________ By the time you learn how to play the game... You can't play it anymore ~ Frank Howard
Posts: 2525 | Location: Northeast | Registered: December 31, 2002
Pamom and chill! I'm still laughing at your post about men. Yes I'm one of them and yes I would probably use a calculator for a substitute. Chill, it's called selective hearing. Great stuff
Posts: 320 | Location: missouri | Registered: January 19, 2003