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HSBBWeb Old Timer
Picture of PAmom
Posted
Here's your chuckle for the day!

> If you remember the Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course. If you are too young to remember Peter Marshall..delete this..
>
>
>Q. Do female frogs croak?
>A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
>
>Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
>A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
>
>Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
>A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
>
>Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
>A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
>
>Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
>A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.
>
>Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
>A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
>
>Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
>A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
>
>Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
>A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.
>
>Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
>A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.
>
>Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
>A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
>
>Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
>A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.
>
>Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
>A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
>
>Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
>A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
>
>Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
>A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.
>
>Q. Can boys join the CampFireGirls?
>A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
>
>Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
>A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?
>
>Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
>A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
>
>Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything! wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
>A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.
>
>Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
>A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.
>
>Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
>A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
>
>Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
>A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
>
>Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its s*x?
>A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.
>
>Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
>A. Charley Weaver: His feet
>
>Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should! never do in bed?
>A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh

biglaugh clap

Is this heaven?...
 
Posts: 2177 | Location: Western PA | Registered: January 01, 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
HSBBWeb Old Timer
Picture of Moc1
Posted Hide Post
PAmom....Thanks-wiping tears from my eyes!!!

Moc1
 
Posts: 916 | Location: Orlando | Registered: August 25, 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
HSBBWeb Old Timer
Picture of URKillingMeBlue
Posted Hide Post
PA Mom -

ROFL - and I've seen these before... never gets old. Thanks for brightening my evening once again!

-----------------------------
Pay attention to the feedback that takes you where you want to go!
 
Posts: 1121 | Location: Northern California | Registered: August 26, 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
HSBBWeb Old Timer
Picture of URKillingMeBlue
Posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by URKillingMeBlue:
PA Mom -

ROFL - and I've seen these before... never gets old. Thanks for brightening my evening once again!

-----------------------------
Pay attention to the feedback that takes you where you want to go!


-----------------------------
Pay attention to the feedback that takes you where you want to go!
 
Posts: 1121 | Location: Northern California | Registered: August 26, 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
HSBBWeb Old Timer
Picture of Chill
Posted Hide Post
Karen

I took you advise
and deleted it....

Your friend
Chilly
___ ___

______________________________
By the time you learn how to play the game...
You can't play it anymore ~ Frank Howard
 
Posts: 2525 | Location: Northeast | Registered: December 31, 2002Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
HSBBWeb Old Timer
Picture of PAmom
Posted Hide Post
Sorry Chill biglaugh----I KNOW BETTER!!!!

Is this heaven?...
 
Posts: 2177 | Location: Western PA | Registered: January 01, 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Member
Picture of Coach C
Posted Hide Post
You are right, the responses now are just not the same.

Very funny
 
Posts: 61 | Location: Fitchburg State College (MA) | Registered: February 11, 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
HSBBWeb Old Timer
Picture of Chill
Posted Hide Post
KMTGR

Did my clever signature
go unappreciated?
Maybe I will show up for
my Monday appointment like this:
(p)(p)...

______________________________
By the time you learn how to play the game...
You can't play it anymore ~ Frank Howard
 
Posts: 2525 | Location: Northeast | Registered: December 31, 2002Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
HSBBWeb Old Timer
Picture of PAmom
Posted Hide Post
OH, wait, I have to go look at the chart!! Razz

Is this heaven?...
 
Posts: 2177 | Location: Western PA | Registered: January 01, 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
HSBBWeb Old Timer
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Peter Marshall: "Who was the father of Rosemary's baby"?

Paul Lynde: (after a long pause), "Andre Previn".

For those not familiar, Mia farrow played Rosemary, and Previn was the father of her child.

Bob
 
Posts: 570 | Location: Phelan, CA USA | Registered: January 01, 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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