Finally, the guys side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you may be right. But don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.......Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or cars.
1. You have enough clothes
D'oh!
Posts: 641 | Location: California | Registered: January 06, 2003
As always, you guys are just looking out for "#1." ...
H-mom * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * We learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp; some are dull; some are pretty; some have weird names; all are different colors. And they all have to learn to live in the same box.
Posts: 3937 | Location: Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight ... | Registered: January 02, 2003
I think you need to do more than buy her a new house with more closet space ... but I am sure that has been discussed in other threads on this site before.
As for your punishment from me and some of my friends ...
H-mom * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * We learn a lot from crayons: some are sharp; some are dull; some are pretty; some have weird names; all are different colors. And they all have to learn to live in the same box.
Posts: 3937 | Location: Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight ... | Registered: January 02, 2003
CA Dad - HMom put it nicely CA Dad! On behalf of the LOTHSBBW, I hereby decree that for the next bb season, you are the one that carries the large beach umbrella, two chairs, three blankets, four bungee cords and the large cooler... mumbling yes, dear as you shuffle towards the game
----------------------------- "Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10"
Posts: 1121 | Location: Northern California | Registered: August 26, 2003
I spent the better part of yesterday in the Master closet... packing up things I haven't worn in 6 months (that is Oprah's rule...if you don't wear if for 6 months/get rid of it)
It resulted in 8 more inches of hanger space for my better half...He thanks you. Has never said a word, but I know some of you good guys think alike...
______________________________ By the time you learn how to play the game... You can't play it anymore ~ Frank Howard
Posts: 2525 | Location: Northeast | Registered: December 31, 2002
HotMama, We did. Our closet space has nearly doubled. Mine hasn't shrunk much at all.
URKMBlue, OK. I'll accept my punishment, but don't forget the team bag, the ball bucket and the scorebook. Also, my wife prefers that I speak up and don't mumble. At least I don't have to carry the kids anymore.
Chill, You are a saint.
Posts: 4703 | Location: Southern CA, USA | Registered: January 02, 2003
CA Dad - if you've got the team bag, the ball bucket and the scorebook you are off the (clothes)hook as far as I'm concerned.
----------------------------- "Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10"
Posts: 1121 | Location: Northern California | Registered: August 26, 2003
On behalf of the LOTHSBBW, I hereby decree that for the next bb season, you are the one that carries the large beach umbrella, two chairs, three blankets, four bungee cords and the large cooler... mumbling yes, dear as you shuffle towards the game 
