Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, and SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
(You will only get this one if you drove a car before 1984-6)
The Unites States government has issued a recall on all cars and trucks that have a headlight dimmer switch on the turn signal switch. The purpose for this is to cut the traffic accidents at night by 90%. Apparently that the 90% that they plan to cut is from blondes, because they keep getting their foot stuck in the steering wheel.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why did the blonde nurse bring a red marker to work?
A: In case she had to draw blood!
--------------------------------------------------------------
Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: She fell out of the tree.
----------------------------------------------------------------
A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met Saint Peter who said, "Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test."

"Oh, No!" she said but Saint Peter said not to worry he'd make it easy.
"Who was God's son?" said Saint Peter.
The dumb Blonde thought for a few minutes and said "Andy!"
"That's interesting... What made you say that?" said Saint Peter
Then She started to sing "Andy walks with me! Andy talks with me! Andy tells me..."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Why do blondes wear ponytails?
A: To hide the valve stem!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the winter".
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:
Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.
Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?
Blonde: Yes.
Operator: The power in the house in on?
Blonde: Of course.
Operator: And the switch is on?
Blonde: Yes, yes.
Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?
Blonde: No, it's working fine.
Operator: Then what's the problem?
Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head all went to an antique store and saw a beautiful old mirror. The lady working at the store said, "This is a magic mirror. You must say something true. And if it's true, your wish will come true. If it's not true, you will disappear."

The blonde, red head, and brunette decided to buy the mirror, and brought it home with them. First the red head walked up to the mirror and said, "I think I'm the most beautiful girl in the world." Poof, she vanished.

Then the brunette walked up to the mirror and said, "I think I'm the smartest girl in the world." Poof, she disappeared.

Then the blonde walked up to the mirror and said, "I think... " Then Poof, she disappeared

The last one was the best...

I like the last one too! However, the nurse one is pretty funny.... I'll have to share that with a couple of friends! Thanks for the smile Tas!

quote:

Originally posted by lafmom:
I like the last one too! However, the nurse one is pretty funny.... I'll have to share that with a couple of friends! Thanks for the smile Tas!

No problem.