There is a thread on the General Items forum called ABUSIVE COACHES. It got me to thinking about our past coaches and how they treated us as athletes probably greatly influenced, for better or worse, not only how we coach but how we evaluate those who coach our children. So, I propose the following questions for discussion.

1) Briefly describe [no names please] the best coach you ever had [any sport] and describe those traits that set him or her apart from all the others.

2) Briefly describe [again, no names please] the worst coach you ever had [any sport] and describe those traits that set him or her apart from all the others.

3) how has either one influenced either your coaching style or how you see the style of your son's coaches?

I will start.

1) The best coach I ever had was my Babe Ruth League [ages 13 to 15] coach in the late 1950's early 60's. He was very knowledgable about the game [baseball] and I learned a lot from him, expecially about the team aspect of baseball. He never yelled or screamed at anyone or at the team as a whole. His son played shortstop but he was our best shortstop. His son batted 9th because he was our worst hitter. He was fair, competitive but understanding. He realized we were kids and did not always execute properly but he never showed that he was upset about it. When he wanted to correct someone on a play he did it by taking them off to the side and in a low voice, told the player how to do it better next time.

2) The worst coach I ever had was my high school football/baseball coach my sophomore year of high school. He yelled at some players but not at others for the same mistake [at least he thought it was a mistake]. He played the football quarterback [who had never played organized baseball before] at shortstop and had the Babe Ruth League all star shortstop I spoke of earlier on the bench. He knew very little about baseball and never tried to learn anything. If we lost [which we did a lot that year], he would scream and rant and rave at us for losing but never admit anything was his mistake or tell us what we could do to get better. He was very knowledgable about football [won some football state championships a few years later after leaving my school] but, had he been the football coach my junior year I would not have played for him. Fortunatly, he left my school that year and the school hired a football coach to coach football and a baseball coach to coach baseball.

3) My tendency is to emulate my "best coach" in my own coaching style though I do catch myself doing some things similar to my "worst coach". I do yell some but it is always at the team as a whole for lack of hustle, swinging at bad pitches, watching third strkes go by, etc. When a point needs to be made to an individual player, I take him off to the side and talk to him in a low voice. I am competitive and like to win but once the game is over, it is over and we work on those things we did wrong in the next practice and do not rehash it on the field. Every time I see a coach at the end of a game screaming and yelling at the team for playing lousy and losing the game, my only thought is of my old "worst coach" and how he made my teamates and I feel those many years ago.

So, who is next.

TW344,

Good question. I have two different answers. When I was a kid, I responded best to those coaches who were tough yet seemed fair as to who would play based on their performance in practice and in games. I had coaches in some cases though who seemed to have their favorites and there didn't seem to be anything you could do to overcome this perception. In other words, if one of their favorites made a mistake, that was easily explained as part of the game. If you made a mistake, it was explained as you were not good enough. I am leaving alot out there but that was my perception from a very long time ago.

With my son, I liked the coaches who were good at motivating yet without playing politics. We had many negative experiences with parents who were coaches and always trying to rig things to favor their own. I am sure these things bothered me more than him but I found the best strategy has been to just play, keep the mouth closed, and let the cream rise to the top.

You know my son hasn't had many coaches and has been more than blessed by the ones he has had.

I don't actually think I could even pick someone to say they were the "worst", although they have all brought different strengths and skills as coaches.

My son's HS knew that son is making some typical adjustments as a college freshman this spring. He called him one day last week reminding him of several things apprently, including that he's still there for my son. My son also has a youth coach that he still talks to and thinks of like a dad. "Best" coach? These men are beyond that IMO. They've truly been gifts in his life - in baseball and out!