I saw this column in today's Columbus Dispatch and laughed and laughed. I don't know about where you all live, but here in Central Ohio, TV weather goes into hysteria whenever a storm even gets hinted at. And Joe Blundo, the author, really hit the nail on the head with what usually happens here in Columbus. I'll let you read this and compare... SO TO SPEAK Chance that winter forecasts will be overblown: 90 percent Sunday, November 13, 2005 JOE BLUNDO
It’s time to prepare for winterweather forecasts.
Don’t worry about the winter weather itself, which will be 33 degrees and cloudy from December to March. But the forecasts can be alarming.
For the uninitiated: Columbus doesn’t actually have ‘‘winter" — if by that you mean a prolonged season of sled-riding, ice-skating and snow-shoveling. Snowstorms tend to skirt Columbus, perhaps because the fog and bluster at the Statehouse form a microclimate that repels incoming weather systems.
What Columbus calls ‘‘winter," the weather-hardened metropolises of Cleveland and Chicago would call ‘‘autumn without the pretty leaves."
Still, winter storms head this way before veering, so meteorologists have to inform us of the possibility of snow. You will hear predictions with scary terms, such as sleet, winter storm and maybe even blizzard.
This tends to send people into a panic. Something in the Columbus temperament causes us to see any threat of snow as a survival issue, as if we were all huddled in tents just below the summit of Mount Everest. The last time heavy snow was in the forecast, countless residents tried to hire Sherpas.
How can we avoid overreacting? By applying what I call the Columbus Weather Discount to every wintry prediction.
The Weather Discount simply recognizes that in Columbus the least-dire scenario is the most likely to occur. If the forecast says snow, think rain. If the forecast says storm, think stiff breeze.
Here are some words you’ll hear come winter and what they really mean when the Columbus Weather Discount is applied:
• Freezing rain: rain
• Sleet: rain
• Rain changing to snow: rain changing to rain
• Rain changing to snow with heavy accumulation: half-inch of slush
• 6 to 8 inches of snow: 1 to 2 inches of snow
• Snow showers: flurries
• Blizzard: flurries on a slant
• Arctic air mass: chilly wind from Toledo
• Winter-storm watch: a storm we’ll watch hit Mansfield
• Winter-storm warning: a storm we’ll watch hit Delaware
If you do nothing else, acquaint the children with this terminology.
Kids are naive. They hear "winter-storm watch with 2 to 4 inches of snow possible" and go to bed convinced that school will be canceled the next day. When the morning reveals nothing but a light coating of frost, they weep piteously in their beds, their little hearts broken.
Long before I ever revealed the truth about Santa Claus, I had to sit down with my kids and explain the truth about Columbus winter forecasts. I’ll never forget the shattered looks on their faces when I told them that nothing was likely to bring snow, not even leaving a plate of cookies by the fireplace for Jym Ganahl.
I wish TV news would go back to the good old days, when the weather was a twominute **** of arm-waving between world headlines and sports.
Now, the typical 11 p.m. newscast begins with weather, proceeds to weather and ends with weather. And that doesn’t count the teasers at 8, 9 and 10 p.m. that hint darkly about the severity of the 11 o’clock forecast.
So prepare yourself for the weather reports to come. They might accurately predict a memorable winter blast, or they might promise half a foot and deliver half an inch. Either way, it’s a snow job.
Oh lhp - I think the middle states can be tough. I can relate alot of what he wrote to my area of livin'! The worst call we ever got was a few years back - forecast was for some flurries and the weather channel actually had rain over my entire state. Well, we received 18 inches in 24/hr period. They were a little off with that one!
Posts: 5357 | Location: Kentucky | Registered: December 30, 2004
Very funny lhpx2 and all fairly close to the truth of how people exaggerate.
Since the subject is the weather in this thread, thought I would take a moment to rub it in on all of you. I am out in sunny San Diego right now and the weather is drop dead beautiful. I am working and sending this out from an Internet cafe at Star Bucks. I'll try not to work too hard and will certainly keep everyone in my thoughts
Beezer - I think CD's in for a rude awakening when that plane gets in tomorrow just in time for a huge temperature drop in this area! Hope everyone is safe this evening with all of the storms about.
Posts: 5357 | Location: Kentucky | Registered: December 30, 2004
Originally posted by lafmom: Beezer - I think CD's in for a rude awakening when that plane gets in tomorrow just in time for a huge temperature drop in this area! Hope everyone is safe this evening with all of the storms about.
It's snowing here! Thanks for bragging about sunny San Diego CD. This is ALL YOUR FAULT!
***************************** "Hey dad.......wanna have a catch?"
Posts: 2747 | Location: NE Ohio | Registered: January 10, 2004
I'm not out of order! You're out of order! The whole freakin' system is out of order! You want the truth? You want the truth?! You can't HANDLE the truth!
Posts: 1365 | Location: Cambridge, MA | Registered: January 03, 2003
Hey CD - did you tell your sun to bring the shovel home for vacation? All I've heard from mine is he will be wearing shorts to show off his tan. It was 31 degrees here this morning, but NO SNOW! Summer is just around the corner.
He was telling me just the other day how nice it was outside. Well, it's pretty nice here to - assuming you are an Eskimo It's all in your perspective.
Hope everyone is safe this evening with all of the storms about.
It's coming your way luvbb!
